Lymph node fear :(

[Dimdim101]

This is definitely spot on. I HATE uncertainty, hence my obvious health fears, but also my fear of planes, my need to organise everything etc. The main thing I can't let go is this behind the collarbone (especially left side) location of this lump - I've been able to feel nodes in my jaw/neck since forever so I don't care about that. Not to mention the many googles I've done where it says 'I had no other symptoms but a lump,' but really that's probably a very small minority. But I did dig into the right side and found something in the same collarbone area, seems a similar size, but just tucked away under muscle etc and can't be moved. So I think in the end it may be a lymph node, but it's just a normal one. For some reason, the one on my left can move all around, in front and behind of the collarbone, and the right one can't, and maybe that's just me and I'll need to get over it.

I will REALLY try because I have so much to look forward to this year - I'm about to finish university and in 3 weeks head to Europe for 2 months, and this is really making me feel like everything that I was excited for in the future is being destroyed in front of my eyes. But the only thing destroying anything is me and my crazy mind.

[Dimdim101]

Just wanted to share something...although poking and prodding and worrying is such a waste of time, I think it has helped me in the end - I have realised I have something on the other side in the same spot (as I said before), but on the other side I thought I couldn't move it. Well I really tried to scoop underneath it and it moved! If you feel your collarbone at the top, there are little strings (tendons I think), and on the left side, when the lump is dislodged and slides over my collarbone, the little string disappears too - it seems like its some random lump attached to a tendon, that's all! So who cares what it is because I doubt cancer presents like this.

TIME TO MOVE ON

[Dimdim101]

So an annoying update...

Since posting such a triumphant post, I ended up messing with the lump on the right a bit and moving it to the front of my collarbone, realising it's about a centimetre in size. To me that seems a little big for that 'scary' region, but anyway... Then, about a week ago, I started getting this weird sensation at the base of the throat (right around where the 2 collarbones meet and there's a little dip). It's the same feeling if you press on that area (kind of tickles and makes you need to cough). From my previous googles I did read that lymphoma can cause a cough if there is a tumour in the chest wall/thymus.

Since then, I've been convinced I have some mass starting in my chest/thymus. I notice this weird sensation as I walk and my chest moves up and down, and especially when I lie on my side. Since it's already sensitive for some reason, I assume pressure on the chest (due to bending certain ways or lying on my side) would make it worse, but I'm really stressed it's some mass - I ended up getting a chest X ray which was clear, but am worried this wouldn't find a small mass e.g. in my thymus. This feeling did start after many days of prodding the collarbone node and studying in a bad posture position, so I am trying to assume it's just something to do with my chest muscles, but I really don't know...

I have come to terms with the collarbone lump as I read a couple posts of people saying they had collarbone ones of 1cm (or even 1.5cm!) turn out to be normal, however this feeling is SO uncomfortable (and so hard to ignore too because I keep feeling it when I turn certain ways etc). I'm not sure if I should bother getting an ultrasound of my thymus or just try let it go...

[Dimdim101]

I also got a lateral chest x ray (from the side) so i'm assuming a mass in the chest area would have definitely shown up there... gah! Just wish this horrible sensation would GO

The feeling also gets better when I eat. Like I can eat a proper meal and then move around and the weird sensation doesn't happen anymore or is greatly reduced...would that be a good thing? I assume if it was some growth there the feeling would always be there (or worse with food) though I'm not sure.