Worried about lymphoma. Node issues.

[Ben1989]

And keep in mind that these GPs most likely HAVE felt nodes that are cause for concern, not just that they’re ‘feeling it wrong’.

Classic HA is not believing your doctors

[Miles Silverfish]

It is like when I feel it though. I have to dig deep under the skin with my index finger. And, they don't do that. They kind of just poke or rub on it.

But, I am probably the one feeling it wrong. And, this is provably just my anxiety. But, I seriously cannot get over the what if's.

[BlueIris]

Have a chat with your GP about anxiety? If you're having to dig deep to feel it, chances are it's a perfectly normal structure.

[Miles Silverfish]

It does swell after prodding it and then it can be felt easily. :(

I know this is probably just my anxiety. But, I don't want to take a chance on it being nothing and then it being something and too late to treat.

[BlueIris]

Life isn't safe or predictable. Poking and prodding at the node will make it swell, and if you do it for long enough it'll stay that way.

In order to feel better, you need to learn to cope with life's inherent uncertainty.

[Miles Silverfish]

Thank you for those words.

I will try and believe what my dermatologist tells me about this spot and the mole tomorrow as well.

[Ben1989]

So, honestly, do you think they’re feeling it wrong? Do they not care and are just ‘poking’ it to humour you?

Has it ever crossed your mind that the technique they’re using is completely accurate when checking for node issues?

[Miles Silverfish]

It's like when I dig deep though. I feel these tiny hard rubbery feeling pebbles that only move with the skin. Yes. They may be feeling my Nodes the way they are supposed to be felt. But, to me they feel entirely different and the Nodes are scaring me. I say Nodes instead of node because sometime they feel like one big pea sized shape. Other times like these little pebbles/grains of sand.

[BlueIris]

In other words, you need to deal with the fear. You have it on expert professional advice that these structures are normal, however, you're now hearing from experienced laypeople (over 25 years of health anxiety, and that's just me) that the fear you're feeling isn't.

[Miles Silverfish]

I know I need to deal with it. It's ruining my life.