I can't talk to any1 about how desperate i feel. My mum would get 2 depressed ang end up shouting at me. When i try to talk 2 my dad he mentions how much better i look than i did in hospital. i don't feel any better though i have stopped cutting and moved on to more dangerous methods. Such as self straggling and solvent abuse. i have some1 from the nhs come to see me but he isn't a psychiatrist or psycolagist and doesn't seem to know what he is talking about. he is little help. i haven't told him about the solvent abuse cos i am worried they will make me go back to hospital plus they will stop me harming myself which is the only thing that helps. i was diagnose with dysthymic mood disorder. which has really made me feel bad since thats a mild depression. they have got the diagnoses wrong in the past. but this makes me feel like i making a fuss over nothing. back in nov 04 the nhs (colwood haywards heath) were thinking about me coming back in hospital for a short time as i was unwell at the time but i took an overdose. then they said it wasn't apropiate for me to come. i didn't hear from them for 2 weeks. i feel like i am being messed around. my mum has an appointment with the consultant at colwood this friday about her complants about serveal things. i am going along. knowing me i won't say how much i am struggling and how suicidal i feel. i don't think it will change anything.
my feeling depressed hasn't been helped by me only sleeping about 4 hours each night. i have been on sleeping meds before but only the strong ones help and then i can't get up in the morning. i have been on 5 anti-depressant none have helped. i am currently on no meds.
i don't see what i can do to get out of this pain i am feeling.
if any1 got any ideas it be great to here them.
thanks camilla
c.harbott