A Sofa - anxiety over a sofa

[mcray1981]

Hey guys,

Not having a great morning at all and its all over a sofa! Basically we ordered a new sofa - arriving next week - my wife said to me last night that she will miss the old one. Cue a big anxiety attack about spending money needlessly, tears, lack of sleep and now this morning that crippling weight on my chest - that feeling of dread.

It's a sofa.

I am literally worrying myself sick about whether it was the right decision or not, did we waste money, will it look stupid, will the kids spill juice over it in ten minutes - the memories of the old sofa etc.

I kid you not I was physically sick this morning worrying about it!

What the heck?

[Scass]

What the heck indeed! I mean, you’re getting a lovely new sofa & the kids will undoubtedly pour juice all over it & lose Cheerios down the back of it. It’ll be a new part of your family & not something to lose sleep over.

Anything else going on that’s affecting your anxiety?


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[ankietyjoe]

If it helps, I can guarantee you the kids will spill juice on it.

The plus side, it'll be a new memory to replace the old ones

[mcray1981]

You are right its not all over a sofa - there are loads of things going on. I had a really stressful week with a job interview in it. I haven't been great since Christmas.

I'm just not used to feeling stressed or anxious so when it kicks in the feelings that come with it seem so overwhelmingly strong. Typical pattern - life going ok, no major life events etc. I'm good - keeping a lid on it and quite happy. Then something stressful happens and I get crazy anxious and this is then followed by a short period of depression and lethargy before I get my energy back.

I can do all the positive thinking/talk etc but it just seems to take an age before the feelings catch up. I can rationalise things that arent that bad - but its the feelings of panic and dread that are there - usually way out of proportion to the "danger".

Sorry - just frustrated with it all today. :-(

[BlueIris]

Don't beat yourself up about it? Happens to us all occasionally.

I ruin every Christmas because I'm so worried I'll get stressed out and ruin Christmas

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's so important it even has an "ology" behind it, Sofology. So, you could get therapy off a Sofologist

Perhaps it's change? Big new thing, worries over tainting it when we all know these things are there for wear & tear rather than the showhome look. If the kids spill something on it you will clean it, use stain removers, etc just as you did the old one.

You've built it up into a bogger than it is through a mixture of change plus doubts triggered from what your wife said. The reality is she will soon be happy with the new sofa as I'm assuming she wanted one and wasn't against it from the start? It's normal to miss something that you see and use everyday. So you will soon get past this worry and you all enjoy being on it.

[mcray1981]

Yeah - its change. I think its the fact change reminds you of what is coming to us all as we get older and the fear of that. When you are in a stressed, worried mindset anyway you can't be positive or block the thoughts as easily. When I am not I can tell myself - not to worry about them as I cant control them and can put them to the back of my mind.

The sofa could be great and isn't a big deal. Just where my heads at it causes such intense feelings - like totally out of proportion to the situation!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, no don't that's one reason. I think it can also be about losing something forever, which could apply to ageing too, and struggling to accept it won't be the same as opposed to it just being a different experience. You've got kids so you've already had one of life's greatest examples of a big change.

[Fishmanpa]

So this would be Sofa No. 2?

Positive thoughts

[WiredIncorrectly]

Check this one out. I paid just over £3000 for a leather sofa made in Italy in 2011. It took months to arrive and when it did the lad was drawing on it and using it as his playground. Oh and the cat got his claws into it. I still have that sofa today and it's seen many children, dogs and cats. With that said I don't allow animals on the sofa, and I don't allow the kids to jump on it. They still try it though.

It's just a sofa that can be repaired if it gets damaged. I'm pretty sure once it's there the family will love it.