So scared. Brain tumour, dementia fears

[flatterycat]

Deputy Head in 4 form junior school. Very stressful at times and like being on a treadmill while juggling lots of balls. Are you also in Education?

[BlueIris]

Yep, I run the VLE at a midsized FE college. I love the job, but right now it's close to breaking me.

[flatterycat]

I actually seem to be better when I’m at work and stressed there as it distracts me - usually. Although I’m not sure it’s healthy as every once in a while I seem to crash.

[flatterycat]

I’m still struggling. Had a couple of better days, but woke this morning feeling very anxious still.
I just cannot seem to get a grip of this worry.

[BlueIris]

It'll get better, I promise, you just need to give it time.

[flatterycat]

On one level I know you’re right Blueiris but the negative side is so strong at the moment. I keep go round and round what happened and then find myself thinking it can’t be anything else but what I fear. I’m not googling now, but of course I can remember the stuff I have read and despite others saying they’ve experienced it to, the majority struggle with the day to day memory stuff. Not recognising where I was for a moment just seems so much bigger than the other stuff.

[BlueIris]

It's really not, but the anxiety is affecting your sense of judgement. I got totally lost yesterday coming out of a public toilet cubicle, couldn't find the handbasins or the exit. It's exactly the same thing.

Can you maybe ask your other half to be rational for you? When I'm in a bad way, I tend to just ask my husband whether or not I'm being rational and then rely on his answer.

[flatterycat]

Thanks Blue.

Yes I ask hubby to tell me if he ever thought I wasn’t myself. He says it’s anxiety.

[BlueIris]

So, every time the scary thoughts come along, acknowledge that they're happening, acknowledge that it's anxiety and then refocus on something else. You'll have to do it a lot at first, but it will get easier.

[flatterycat]

Ok I will. I can’t say it’s going to stop me thinking that I have BT etc, but at least I will be doing something positive.