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Thread: Breast diagnosis

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    554

    Breast diagnosis

    My wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer which is, she was told none life threatening but will be advised how it will be treated in two weeks time
    How do we face up to all of this, I wonder if anyone has dealt with this before and can offer advice.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    4,636

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Hiyer,

    Yes, I was diagnosed in April 2016. I am sorry to hear that you are both facing this situation. It was a very psychologically tough time, especially the first few weeks before the treatment plan started happening. Its a roller-coaster of emotions that you ride and you will both feel scared, tearful and anxious at times with periods of hopefulness thrown in. I personally wasn't able to sleep and lost bags full of weight, it was horrendous. Anything is possible in terms of feelings, nothing is abnormal and just go with the flow and remember that this is the worst you will be feeling right now - it gets better and it gets easier slowly slowly. Let the feelings happen as they happen, and not try to hide them as it is kind of like the grief process, you have to go through the stages - shock, anger, fear etc. Make use of the wealth of resources and support that exists for breast cancer, including the breast cancer nurses and any local support groups (the nurses will have the details) - I highly recommend using www.breastcancercare.org.uk also for their downloadable leaflets, forum, phone helpline and you can even have telephone calls and emails from 'someone like me' (their support network where they team you up with a person who is a few years further along). They have leaflets on just about every single aspect imaginable, from telling any children to exercises to do after surgery. A diagnosis of a form of cancer is a BIG DEAL, and if you/and or your wife are really struggling you can also be referred (yet again, via the breast cancer nurse) to a cancer counsellor, who can help you through the early stages and the thoughts that come with it. You will feel more in control in a couple of weeks, after the treatment plan is discussed, honestly. It is important to focus on the fact that BC is highly treatable now for the vast majority of women, and with 1 in 8 having it at some point in their lives, that is a A LOT of women around who are years past the diagnosis stage and are happily living life. Please feel free to ask away.....
    Last edited by Carys; 13-06-19 at 21:19.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    8,445

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    This must be a huge shock to you, kestral.

    Carys is the very best person to talk to at this unsettling time. You obviously want to do the very best for your wife as you support her along the as yet unknown treatment pathway. Sometimes just being able to speak to someone who has been through this and come out the other side is very comforting.

    Please let us know how your wife is doing and keep posting if we can help to support you? But Carys is always so marvellous at offering advice and support.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    8,445

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    You aren't useless and you won't be useless. The fact that you care and want to do your very best to support her means everything. You are not burying your head in the sand and keeping well away from her despite your HA. Facing up to a diagnosed condition could help you put your HA in perspective?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    554

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    She already suffers eye and ear problems and IBS and so has a whole bag full of problems and now this bless her. She has been wonderful in supporting me with my health anxiety as I have no and type 2 diabetes. She is a remarkable lady.
    Thank you so much for your support.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    8,445

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    So now you'll be able to be there for her. You won't "fail" because you sound like a great partnership.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    2,888

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Exactly. Your love for one another makes you both stronger.

    Wishing you the very best of luck.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    8,445

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    The shock of the diagnosis must be very hard but once you know the treatment plan then things will move forward and you will be in the "system". It's the waiting and wondering which is very tough for us.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    4,636

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Hiyer Kestral,

    I didn't see your reply, as its now deleted.....so not sure how to respond now ? Hope things are ok...

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    554

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    I didn't mean to delete but I'm a bit awkward with my typing and tried to correct my spelling but ended up removing it. Basically any support is appreciated as we move forward.

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