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Thread: Breast diagnosis

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    629

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    We are in a depressed state of unreality at the moment and everything is so hard to do. We are going through the emotions cerys told us we would. It was a routine check that found the growth.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    16,747

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    It must be very hard to even consider going about your normal routines when you have been newly diagnosed. There must be such a lot to take in yet it must all seem like a bad dream. Carys has been there so she was wise to warn you that you would feel like this. All I can advise is that you talk to each other and don't keep stuff bottled up whilst you wait for the treatment plan.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    7,300

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Hiyer 1mm or 1 cm ? If its 1 cm then that is considered very small and caught at the earliest stage, mine was larger, thats what the routine check is for to make an early diagnosis and sort it out! I'm presuming your wife had a biopsy and wondering if they told her anything else about this tumour ? This is why mammograms take place, for this very reason, and in this instance it works and every year women like your wife have early treatment and carry on living a full and happy life.

    Yes, the feeling of unreality its awful, I remember walking around a shop and feeling totally detatched and unable to understand how people were laughing and smiling. I felt like the world, for me stopped turning properly for a short while, I couldn't hear or connect with life for a few days. Its shock, pure and simple. You can wake up panicking and in fear, and then realise that the nightmare wasn't real but instead of relief it hits you that the nightmare is real and in the daytime, the BC diagnosis. (just as Pulisa says, the bad dream element, you can wake up and thing it was a dream only to find its real). These two weeks are THE ABSOLUTE HARDEST psychologically, never in my life have I felt anything as all-consuming with every thought imaginable whirling; the period before the treatment plan.

    I would urge your wife and yourself, to use the webpage and national helpline number I posted. They are the UKs largest breast charity and produce all the literature that is given out by the breast cancer nurses in hospital. I assure you that a BC diagnosis is not as it was years ago, that it is effectively treatable and by the sounds of it that is exactly what your surgeon/oncologist is saying. They will SORT IT.

  4. #24
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    Nov 2007
    Posts
    629

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Can't thank you enough ladies for your wonderful support as we go through this horror.

  5. #25
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    Nov 2009
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    7,300

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    It seems hard to imagine now, but in a short while you will be thankful for this time - being diagnosed and treated once the shock has subsided. You will consider how lucky you were that it was found early. Imagine if there was no breast screening (I found mine at 47, so wasn't having breast screening, so I felt even luckier)? It would be like the old days where women got to stage 4 and had no chance of successful treatment.

  6. #26
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    Nov 2007
    Posts
    629

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    My wife has said she is pleased it's diagnosed and wants to get on with her recovery. She always has had that attitude regarding health and we have been together since 1968 before marrying 2 years later. An absolute rock to me.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    16,747

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Focus on her wish to get on with her recovery? She sounds a strong and very positive lady but you can be there for her when she needs to talk.

    And then of course you will have your Golden Wedding celebrations to plan for next year!

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    7,300

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Well, she is a star- already your wife has got to the stage really quickly which is necessary to move forward positively. For many people thats not an easy place to get to, but she is already thinking that way. It will stand her in really good stead in the coming weeks and months! Although not everyone 'processes' these things at the same time frame, you need to try and follow her lead, it is hugely beneficial in terms of mental health during this phase of your lives together.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    7,300

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    You are very important at this time too, not just in supporting her, but making sure you look after yourself during the pressure you feel - so with that in mind...


    https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/...-breast-cancer

    https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/...-breast-cancer

    Read these two Kestral, they are really useful and talk about you as a partnership

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    629

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Our younger son was talking about things with his mum yesterday which pleased her. The elder son has a partner who wont let him do things without her approval as she controls
    him even to the point she tells him when he has to have a shower plus she won't allow any or his family call at their house although she has never said why, just sent emails to us all one day. That's her choice but it's not good when trying to contact him.

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