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Thread: Breast diagnosis

  1. #61
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    Aug 2013
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    Re: Breast diagnosis

    I can see there may be procedural differences etc. Carys. I'm talking about from a caregiver, mentally supportive aspect as well as preparation aspect, especially if rads or chemo will be used. I found out what to expect, when to expect it, how to prepare, what to do if this, that or the other came up (and boy, did they!) and much that wasn't explained by the doctors nearly as well as those on the front line. The insight and support truly was invaluable.

    Also Kestral, and I don't know if its this way in the UK, but the hospital where I was treated had support services (both psychological and spiritual) for warriors and their caregivers. Might be worth asking about.

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  2. #62
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    4,437

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    I found out what to expect, when to expect it, how to prepare, what to do if this, that or the other came up (and boy, did they!) and much that wasn't explained by the doctors nearly as well as those on the front line.
    Indeed, all very important, but I found differences in exactly the things you listed here, that would make it confusing if you are already finding the process rough. Those on the frontline are definitely the best to explain, but in small matters like 'who should I see if I have a radiotherapy burn?' there were differences between the states and the UK.

    They will have an allocated Breast Care Nurse, or team of nurses, whom Kestral or his wife can call at anytime, with any questions or concerns. They will have already met those breast care nurses. Kestral or his wife can also request 'cancer counselling' (I had it myself) and be referred by the breast cancer nurse. There are a huge number of local support groups all over the country where people can go to talk to others in the same position. As I said earlier our biggest Breast Cancer Charity has a range of supportive resources - thaey have leaflets for every eventuality which are those same leaflets used on NHS hospitals, (including for those who are supporting someone with cancer, and recognise the pressure on those individuals). They have a helpline number for use at any time manned by those who have had breast cancer, a set of forum pages including one for those supporting someone with cancer, a telephone support service where you can have weekly/daily calls with someone who had the same diagnosis as you (this can also be done via email)and a variety of other support services. It really is an excellent support network for breast cancer here, which is sadly not availiable to many other cancer type sufferers.

    I did use it a fair amount myself as was researching a few things and making comparisons, but even some of the basic terminologies varied between the two countries.

    I honestly don't think he and his wife need reach beyond what is on hand here.
    Last edited by Carys; 18-07-19 at 09:56.

  3. #63
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    19,488

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Yeah.. that makes sense and its good to hear there's that level of support available. We were fortunate here in that the Cancer Society has what are called "Hope Lodges". These are facilities that enable patients to live near the hospital they're being treated at little or no cost to the patient. We were a two hour drive to the hospital and the Hope Lodge was 10 minutes away. We were given room and board during treatment. They had kitchen facilities, fridges, stoves etc. Many times local groups would come and cook for everyone there. There were even massages once a week to help with pain and stress relief and even free transportation several times during the day between the Lodge and the hospital.

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    4,437

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    That sounds really fab! As a small densly populated country, where nobody is very far from a hospital that is treating them, we don't generally have that type of facility. I've heard of people who live in places like the Isle of Man having special hospital flats and facilities provided on the mainland as there isn't treatment for them on the island. I suspect there are some people who make use of the hospital flats if travelling is outside their ability on a daily basis particularly for radiotherapy, but generally it isn't something that is needed here. It must make quite a difference to the ease of experience for you guys.

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    538

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    The wife and myself are hoping she will be treated as a day patient as they said this would probably be the case before she returns after 3weeks for a check and any further treatment discussed. A dye is to be run through the glands before her operation.

  6. #66
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    Nov 2009
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    4,437

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Hiyer, I had my surgery as a day patient....infact a 'morning patient' as I was chucked out before lunchtime. All being well with GA recovery there's no reason why she should be in that long at all for a lumpectomy. Has she got her bras ready yet? I would recommend you take a pillow in the car for her to use on the way back. Depending on the dressing under her arm and on her breast (can't recall which side the surgery was taking place), it is helpful to have a pillow to put at waist/lap height and rest your arm out on it, so that its not all pressing under the armpit. Some people even use a small cushion against their body all day to stop the arm pressing in the armpit area for a few days.

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    538

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    As we get nearer her operation do you have any tips how I can control my anxieties and support her on the day?

  8. #68
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    538

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    I have joined the site recommended by you cerys and trying to find my way around it. The worst time for us seems to be on waking whether it is in the night or morning at the moment.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    4,437

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    Its a bit annoying actually Kestral, they changed the software for the forums and made it MUCH more complex and difficult to work out. Its not just you that finds that part a little tricky to learn. I would just read articles on the site that are relevant to you by doing a search, don't start randomly reading things on different forum pages as they won't be relevant to you and can be frightening. Stick to 'just diagnosed' and the pages where you ask about surgery and other treatment.

    Morning is always the worst, that is quite normal. I used to wake up and think I'd had a bad dream about having cancer, feel a second of relief, only to find that it was my real life that had the cancer in it and feel a huge flash of panic. Its like your nightmare becomes your day experience, and when you are asleep you are free from it - so reversed. This probably makes no sense, but I know what I mean lol Nights and mornings are generally worse for any anxiety anyway, just accept it and quickly move on to starting the day and getting on with things. At the moment, till the surgery, mornings are going to be a bit wobbly.....but it will pass over time and when treatment starts.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    4,437

    Re: Breast diagnosis

    As we get nearer her operation do you have any tips how I can control my anxieties and support her on the day?
    On this page it shows a way to find out about the support group in your area, and it has links to the 'someone like me' service. You could look into that ?

    https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/...rt/support-you

    Also, here is a list of all the publications that you can download on your computer, or order to have delivered in the post.

    https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/...ue_2018_19.pdf

    Of most use to you, to cover the support query you asked is the leaflet BCC120, called 'When your partner has breast cancer', which talks about supporting the person diagnosed and looking after yourself. I don't know if this link to the pdf will work, if it doesn't then you can easily download yourself.....

    https://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/...cancer_web.pdf

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