So uncomfortable (TW: Sexual harrassment)

[BlueIris]

Thanks, Elen, means a lot. I should be able to have a quiet one today, hopefully.

[glittery]

I can only imagine how disturbing this has been for you. Does not sound like something that can be handled easily. You need a lot of training for that, and even then such behavior is hard to handle. Hugs and kisses. I hope you feel better.

[BlueIris]

Thank you, Glittery. Hope things are easier for you soon, too.

[Carnation]

Well, I don't think you should be working alone in those circumstances. Another staff member on hand could make all the difference and maybe that could be suggested to your employer BlueIris

Everything is about prevent rather than cure.
I'm also sorry you had to experience that BlueIris and can understand how it has left you feeling. x

[Carys]

Yep, I agree Carnation, if this individual has trouble behaving in ways which are appropriate, and makes people uneasy or worse.....then a policy could be put in place that the individual is accompanied around other staff members.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Glad to hear you have support from someone at work who knows why this can be a issue for you as they will need to respond to that. To be honest, they should be anyway as this individual is demonstrating inappropriate behaviour.

As Carnation says they can adopt a policy of buddy systems at times where there could be a risk. Whether that's more than one person in the library, this individual is chaperoned or he is only allowed in certain places under certain conditions.

Can they give you some training on spotting and stopping such a situation occurring? So if he approaches you there are techniques aimed at maintaining personal distance and reminded him?

I think you know the dream is going to be about something that is on your mind and highly important. It's like if you were in a car accident one day you are bound to spend time that day thinking about mortality, family, the future, the "what ifs", etc and have a poor nights sleep because of it even if you don't have anxiety.

To be honest anyone would be uncomfortable with contact like this and knowing he has been masturbating in public would make anyone wary.

[BlueIris]

Terry, I don't think we have formal training available, but his teacher is a friend so I might ask her for some advice on how to redirect his attention.

Luckily, I don't subscribe to dreams having any meaning beyond the crashingly obvious - I know the one about the ex was just my way of processing the feelings of powerlessness and sexual threat. Have had a nice, quiet day today working mostly on the graphic design side of the job and am feeling much better for it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

That's good. It's much better you get back in there as it's harder later like you said on the other thread. We tend to build stuff up into much bigger issues, although this is a very real concern certainly, and make it much harder for ourselves. Just being around there will help stop any drop in your confidence.

Maybe Carys can point to some professional guidance on dealing with this type of behaviour, rather than searching the internet for it and your friend can hopefully provide it. To be honest I'm struggling to understand how an organisation dealing with people who can have these types of behaviours doesn't at least have some training for someone there and whether it's a mandatory issue as a matter of safety at work or covered under mental health legislation.

[Carys]

Its tough to offer any modern/recent suggestions as it was 18 years ago I was working with this type of challenging behaviour, my files are long gone - I have started looking up some 'how to not allow physical contact stuff' but that is quite generic. You know the type of thing, take a step backwards, raise your hand to stop the person approaching, be clear with your verbal boundaries - but its all very generic. I don't know the level of this persons' disability and that would impact upon what is needed, and also what needs taking into account is the probability of a negative response. I would presume that if there is a significant learning problem, then the approach would need to be modified for that individual. It is the sort of occurence that should form part of a staff meeting, where everybody is given the same approach to apply based on the knowledge of a leading SEN.