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Thread: Ocd about vow

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2014

    Ocd about vow

    Another year passed. Last year till now everything seems to be under control. Each year by each year. Intrusive thoughts thru out this few years tend to leave me alone. They do come but leave very quickly which is still manageable. But the sad thing is i m kind of addicted to alcohol. I tend to drink more than the past. Which i feel is a bad habit and i wanted to quit drinking badly. My ocd has worsen my relationship with my wife thru out my marriage as i always obsess with my thoughts. While with the drinking habit now make our relationship even worst. And we are almost at the stage of divorced. Well good thing is... I manage to save back the marriage. But happy days dont last long.....

    Now I have a thought which bothers me badly today. Let me share with u.

    Last month... As u know i m drinking beer almost everyday... I wanted to quit drinking everyday but i just cant control myself. I tried lots of way for example like... Making a vow not to drink everyday if i break my vow i will not buy watches or wear any and to give up my this hobby which i love so much. It did helps after making a vow... But after i realise there is a loophole to overwrite the vow... I began drinking again everyday.. U must be wondering how i overwrite the vow.... I make another vow which says if i dont drink today... I will not be able to wear anymore watch and have to give up this hobby..... While vow for people with ocd like me is quite important.. .. As its about perfectionism........ i believe the stress in my work and the bad relationship i m having is making me to go back drinking.

    One special night. I decided to make a special vow. First i make a vow that.. after i m back from vacation with my family i will not drinking everyday or
    will not drinking more than 2 times a week. And i make another vow that this vow will not and cannot be overwrite. This somehow works. After i m back from vacation. This vows stop me from drinking everyday and not more than 2 times a week which u feel is healthy... But bad relationship again makes me tend to drink more often but i still try not to drink everyday....i realise i had broke my vow so a intrusive thoughts came in.... Telling me i couldnt wear my watch anymore.
    This thought did came a few days ago... But i told myself... Even vow being broken is fine... As i had make lots of vows before and broken it lot of times.... ... So it didnt bother me much... But today. This thought came in my head... Telling me that this is not a normal vow which i had make in the past... Its a special vow with another vow which say that the vow cannot be overwrite or broken. So now i m suffering with this thoughts.

    Was it because my relationship with my wife was better today... Because the past few days my mind was only thinking how to save my marriage. And today my mind was kind of relax so intrusive thought tend to comes in easily... I keep telling myself its ocd its a intrusive thoughts but i dont works... My mind was keep on thinking about the special vow which i had make..i am worried now as if i keep on obsess with this... I will neglect my wife again.... . Sorry for the long story...... I seriously need your advise and point of view..... Once again... Thanks for reading..... .

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2014

    Re: Ocd about vow

    Any advise

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