Please help - Huge HA and MS scare

[Seymour]

I'm trying really hard to buy into the anxiety theory even though part of me just feels convinced I have MS. But I've read so many posts and seen videos about people with my symptoms who ended up doing an MRI scan that came back clean that I'm starting to doubt myself.

A new symptom I have is vibration in my arm, leg and groin region. Like I'm standing near a washing machine. I've read it can be a sign of MS but then again many people experience that with anxiety.

I think my body and mind are messed up. I have so many symptoms.

At night if I sleep on my belly my arms get numb somehow. I'm not even sure that would qualify as a MS symptom. Never heard of MS symptoms appearing only at night.

At this point I just hate life.

[Seymour]

It hasn’t gone away and I’m freaking out. If it’s not going away then it can only be MS right? I wish I die in my sleep.

[pulisa]

You don't mean that. It's the inability to convince yourself that anxiety is causing all the unpleasant feelings and the utter panic which sets in when all seems hopeless.

You have a hell of a lot to live for and hell of a lot of time to learn about how powerfully anxiety can take a hold of everything.

Even if you think you definitely have MS then at least read up on the tricks anxiety can play on your nervous system?

[Seymour]

I think I’m past that point. It’s been nearly a month and my symptoms don’t subside at all, plus I’ve been taking for the past seven years a medication that can cause demyelination like MS. My only hope is that I won’t get actual MS and that discontinuing my medication will stop the symptoms and allow my body to heal. About 75% of people have that outcome. The rest develop full blown MS. It’s a risk I knew I was taking but it was severely downplayed by my rheumatologist.

Now if we confirm brain lesions my arthritis meds are off the table so I’m looking at years of excruciating pain.

So yes I do mean it when I say I wish I’d die. I can’t kill myself because my mom, girlfriend and child need me but at this point I’m just tired of all the shitty cards that life deals me on a continuous basis.

[BlueIris]

You need more help than a bunch of strangers on a forum can provide you, in that case.

I strongly recommend that you seek the services of a trained mental health professional as a matter of urgency.

[Seymour]

Oh I’m seeing one. But if I gotta have arthritis and MS, no amount of counseling will bring me back. Anxiety and illness have won the battle.

[pulisa]

You haven't been diagnosed with MS. You just assume you have it. There's a big difference.

Are you having tests for MS? Has any doctor suggested that you should be tested for MS? It's a long and complex diagnostic procedure.

[Fishmanpa]

Oh I’m seeing one. But if I gotta have arthritis and MS, no amount of counseling will bring me back. Anxiety and illness have won the battle.

What does your therapist think about reassurance seeking on an anxiety forum?

Positive thoughts

[Seymour]

You haven't been diagnosed with MS. You just assume you have it. There's a big difference.

Are you having tests for MS? Has any doctor suggested that you should be tested for MS? It's a long and complex diagnostic procedure.

So far the two doctors I've seen at the hospital brushed it off as anxiety but since my symptoms have gotten a bit worse and are still present I think that my GP that I'm seeing Thursday will want to at least refer me to a neurologist.

I know I haven't been diagnosed but I'm dizzy 80% of the time, my legs are weak and tire easily, I get muscle twitches, my arms go numb at night and I have these feelings like someone is flicking water on me and other strange sensations like vibration in legs and arms.

If you add to that the fact that I have arthritis of the spine and that I've been taking for years an injection that can cause demyelination, then I feel like I'm a pretty clear cut case of MS or at least an MS-like syndrome induced by my medication.

There's just so much you can blame on anxiety and I know my body. When I first started showing symptoms of arthritis everyone brushed it off as anxiety too, and I ended up being right.

[pulisa]

So if these AS meds cause demyelination why aren't you being routinely scanned for any signs of spinal lesions which would indicate the onset of MS? Especially in view of your symptoms? Why are doctors brushing it off as anxiety if you are at more risk of MS?