Need Help Making a Plan

[fbmb]

Hi everyone. I’m in a big black hole, and I need to climb out. I have been dealing with health anxiety for years and I know all the ways to cope and what not to do (reassurance seek, check, etc) but when my anxiety comes knocking at the door I let it right in and it’s really hard to get it to leave. You may know (you may not, and that’s fine) that recently I’ve been obsessed with my pee. Yes, my pee. I had bubbles in my pee a few times and googled it. Whoops. Sent myself into orbit. I bought urine test strips. I’ve used a ton of them, checking my pee for various things. I had a UA done yesterday at a clinic. All was clear. Last night I kinda hit rock bottom. I found trace protein in my pee with a couple of the strips, and became totally hysterical. I asked my sweet husband to pee in a cup so that I could check his pee and he kindly did. We ate the same high protein dinner so I felt I should check his too. So then I sat in the bathroom analyzing the color of my strip and his strip and stared for a long time, trying to determine how much of a color difference there was. My protein marker was yellow green. His was lighter yellow green. Mine was a tad more green. Anyway, see where I’m going? Nothing is ever good enough to appease me.

I need help making a plan and I need people to help to hold me accountable. Where do I start? It has to be small steps first or it won’t work.

All of you guys on this forum who come to ask for reassurance and spill all your health fears online should also make a plan. What you’re doing isn’t working. What I’ve been doing isn’t working.

I think I need to start by hiding the strips. Right?

[Fishmanpa]

Have you read THIS?

Positive thoughts

[fbmb]

I read that about 3 years ago and his advice really helped me. I actually know him on Facebook and I’m part of a group that he created for people committed to recovering from HA.

[fbmb]

I’m just in a slump and I need some help climbing out (despite all the things I know to be true about my anxiety).

[Fishmanpa]

Well.... it's time to commit to a plan. You need real life support. An online forum cannot hold you accountable. As Chris said in his post, "Internet forums like this attract people who are desperate and upset and in a difficult place. That can sometimes give the impression that recovery is impossible. Know that it isn't. I have seen so many people who were completely desperate, yet have come out the other side. The issue is that most no longer post, and so quite naturally the prime content of this site becomes about symptoms rather than anxiety".

Some advice I gave another member...

Get off the computer/phone or whatever you're using to look up symptoms and get your rear end to a therapist. If you're not on meds, consider them as they can lessen the hyper-focusing and subsequent symptoms. If you have a friend, loved one or partner, have them install parental controls on your phone, computer and browsers to block certain sites and keywords from showing up in a search.

YOU have to do something. We can't make you. You could have 160 pages of reassurance and advice but it won't help unless YOU act and get real life help.

Sit down with your husband and/or family/friends and write out a plan. Discuss strategies and accountability checks. Seek real life professional help to assist you in breaking the thought and behavioral patterns that drag you into the rabbit hole.

Positive thoughts