Working with my counselor, she believes many of my issues are somatic in nature. I have been (and still am) subject to many various aches and pains all across my body, including muscle and abdominal pains. We have documented that these issue arise/become more pronounced during stressful times, though overall still haven't succeeded in getting me past many of these issues. Things like the muscle pain is obvious (though, it doesn't help me beat it yet) - when I am stressed or anxious, I am commonly tensing my muscles (basic fight or flight response, but turned on 24/7).
However, my anxiety has manifested as other issues, such as GI problems and pains; these issue have been enough that I have even received a colonoscopy due to the severity of symptoms (but nothing of note was found, and aside from slight liver enzyme elevations (related to my weight), no blood or other abnormalities were detected). Despite being physically cleared, I am still prone to long periods of pain (among other issues), which may stay around for longer than the anxiety
obviously presents itself.
I highlighted obviously because that is the problem - while the anxiety may leave my surface thinking, it is commonly still very much there, and easily brought up by a variety of triggers (god I hate that word.. the whole "triggered" thing drives me up the wall). It can be a place where something bad happened before (like a shopping center where I googled something, or got test results), somebody having a conversation that reminds me of a past event, or even just down time that allows my mind to wander (this is the most proof for me that my issues linger, since even a basic lack of distraction can allow the anxiety back to the surface). Because of this, I find my physical issues tend to hang around much longer than I might like, since the root of the problem has not really gone away; its simply.... dwelling in the shadows..
I also deal with a great deal of OCD, which is also agreed to be a significant cause of my problems. I can have a major time letting things go, even if others (doctors, friends, family, etc) feel the issue is resolved (or never an issue in the first place). Sometimes it will manifest as something silly (I can literally check my wallet three times in a row to be sure I put my card back, or check my truck a few times to make sure its locked), or something more serious (anxiety attacks where I feel that a test or diagnosis is incorrect, and that a problem is actually still effecting me (doesn't that sound familiar guys), despite evidence to the contrary). In many ways, "letting go" isn't in my vocabulary, which can make life extremely difficult.
What Terry said here is literally my problem in action:
"
Treating that HA may not treat the OCD enough in those cases which takes us back to what you are saying about choice and core issues in behavior."
Just because i have worked past a specific issue, my ability to focus on things is not fixed, and quickly leads to relapses (or simply development of a new issue. And because i hang on so well, the physical manifestations also hang around (which can create a brutal feedback loop. Many times the anxiety becomes focused around this physical pain, which only serves to create more of it, which only heightens the anxiety more...). The few times i have truly had better control and clarity, the pain indeed did receed, which was further proof of the brain body connection behind it.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Shadowhawk
