Has My Mum Got Bowel Cancer?

[Toby2000]

I've spent literally the past 355 days (since 20/7/18) worrying about my own bowels but over the past couple of months the worry has slowly began to shift over to me worrying about my mum incessantly again, this time not because of her lungs, but because of her bowels

I think about 2 months ago she was on the phone to her friend and she mentioned that she had the "runs"- TMI I know for a phone conversation but she's really close with her friend. I was a little concerned but brushed it off

I think, it's my suspicion, that the "runs" have been continuing since, on and off, because my room is directly above the toilet downstairs and I can hear her go sometimes when it's quiet and it sounds like it could be looser stools or diarrhea falling into the bowel

Also when she leaves the toilet downstairs it doesn't smell nice at all. I read that foul smelling stools can be a sign of colon cancer

She also mentioned in passing to try and reassure me when I was worrying about blood, seeing blood either on her stool or on the paper, she recently clarified that it was on the paper because she has piles and has done since giving birth for the first time, but she could've been lying to try and make me feel better

She said she weights 9 stone and I checked and that's a healthy weight for her age and height but she looks skinny... she's always looked skinny though

She's only had natural tiredness as far as I know since she works 4/7 days a week doing a very physical job, cleaning and decorating people's houses. She naps in the day for 1-2 hours when she gets in from work but to be honest, I would too if I did something that physical. She's also a single parent and cleans most of our house too and everything and has the responsibilities of looking after us and she gets up between 5-7 every morning and rarely sleeps in

She also has the stress of my situation (my worries impact her and unfortunately I give her a lot of stress with this and she worries about me too) and she showed me her chest the other week and it was covered in eczema which she says happens whenever she's stressed- and I know that to be true. Could that be causing her bowel problems too?

She insists that she hasn't got diarrhea but because of the smell and the noises, I just can't believe it, I'm honestly fearing for her life here because she is 51 which is a risky age when it comes to bowel cancer PLUS she smokes.

I'm not meaning to cause her stress, she's not stressed in the sense that she can't function but I think she feels persecuted by me and I'm obviously taking a toll on her because she's always shouting at me and telling me off whenever I talk about mine or her health or anything and she's obviously got the eczema which I know breaks out when she's stressed

I can't help it though I'm so worried about her :(

[Toby2000]

Also she seems to be going twice a day, sometimes three.. I haven't kept an exact count but that's not normal is it?

She's not a big eater, she does eat regularly obviously but she's never been one of "pig out" and gorge on excess food like me, she eats what she needs to eat

She drinks a lot of coffee and has alcohol some nights which I know can cause upset bowels, as well as ginger ale often- the sugar in it has the same effect as fizzy drinks which makes the stool move quicker = diarrhea

[Toby2000]

And I don't think she's had any stomach pain

[Toby2000]

And I'm scared that I'm gonna make her worry, I don't want to scare her, although she isn't scared at all, but I just can't help it :(

[Toby2000]

And then I'll start worrying that if she has it then I'm bound to get it too. If I haven't already. I know that's selfish but that's just too much to think about :(

[Toby2000]

She just got up to go to the toilet, I listened at the door and I heard loud f**t noises probably followed by looser stool :(

I am so. Angry. with her. She's literally the most annoying person I know, I've told her that diarrhea or looser stools for more than 3 weeks with no obvious cause is a cause for concern and needs to be investigated. It's literally every other day I hear this now. She is riddled with problems, her coughing that triggers the hell out of me, I thought she was having a stroke the other day.. what the hell do I do? It's not even as if she's senile, she's in RIGHT MIND but she's being so damn annoying she's like "YoU dIdN't HeAr AnYtHiNg!111!!!" when I tell her what I heard. There are 80 year olds out there who are more aware of what's normal and what isn't.

I'm sorry if this seems harsh or anything but it's how I feel. I feel better now after typing this and letting it all out but it's so frustrating when you have health anxiety and you see loved ones with worrying symptoms but they just don't listen when you try and explain to them that actually these symptoms are worrying. It can become very problematic and controlling, which I admit this situation is but it's for the best. 3+ weeks of diarrhea = a cause for concern.

[Toby2000]

I spoke to her about it. Calmly. I said I don't know how I'm going to get back to normal life with this going on and she said if she thinks there's a problem, she'll go, but there is a problem and she's not going to the doctor...

[BlueIris]

Toby, you're treating your mother abysmally! Listening at the bathroom door, for shame!

You still have this obsession with cancer and it's still making you behave in disgraceful, creepy ways. What are you going to do about it?

[Toby2000]

Toby, you're treating your mother abysmally! Listening at the bathroom door, for shame!

You still have this obsession with cancer and it's still making you behave in disgraceful, creepy ways. What are you going to do about it?

But don't you think I should be annoyed and concerned? Wouldn't you be concerned if a loved one who you lived with who is 50+ had diarrhea for weeks? :(

I am very ashamed of listening in but I just don't know what to do

[BlueIris]

Honestly? I'd trust them to know their own body by that age. People generally do.

Your behaviour is so far out of control it isn't funny, and you might want to consider returning to your GP over this.