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Thread: Petrified I have bowel cancer

  1. #1
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    Jan 2018
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    Petrified I have bowel cancer

    Hi all, I'm really struggling at the moment. I'm a 37 year old male, fit and healthy and prone to health anxiety to which I have had CBT for in the past. I still get recurrences but have been a lot better. I am however currently petrified I may have bowel cancer. My guts have always been a bit all over the place which my doc many years ago put down to IBS however a few weeks ago I sat on the lookout for a while and when I looked down it looked like there was slight red colour mixed with brown in the toilet water around the poo, I've also noticed mucus on the poo that looks a pinky colour I think. I've not noticed any really bright streaks of blood on the stool itself and have (I'm really embarrassed to say) even been inspecting the stools in toilet paper to see if I can see the blood but when I press tp onto it it just looks brown, I have seen some mucus that looks pinky brown when I've done this. The stools themselves have been normal colour, a few times a bit yellowy but not black or red... On Monday I had a vegan wrap which had beetroot in it, Tuesday I passed stool with purple which I was ok with but on Wednesday I did one that had a bright red blob which looked like blood and was leaching out into water, part of me wonders if it was a piece of beetroot that had changed in colour inside from purple to more Reddy but it freaked me out! I've been to GP and she did digit test and found nothing, she also felt my tummy and said she couldn't feel anything, she has referred me to local colorectal clinic so waiting to hear for an appointment, I went for full blood test on Wednesday and she should get results back today... my tummy aches and I'm in a complete state, no appetite and scared to go to the toilet in case of what I find. If anyone could offer me any kind of positive vibes I'd be grateful.

  2. #2
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    Re: Petrified I have bowel cancer

    It does sound like IBS but good that you are getting it checked out

  3. #3
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    Jul 2018
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    Re: Petrified I have bowel cancer

    Good on you for getting the tests done, I know how hard that can be, I’m in a similar situation and totally feel your pain, having tummy troubles and the anxiety isn’t helping! It’s a vicious circle

  4. #4
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    Jan 2018
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    Re: Petrified I have bowel cancer

    I think anxiety is playing a big part in my tummy aching... I managed to calm myself down a bit and my tummy pain improved... I think a lot of the pain is muscle tension in my back which is referring to my stomach, I've found particular trigger points in my upper back which seem to help if pressed.

  5. #5
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    Jan 2018
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    Re: Petrified I have bowel cancer

    In in a bad place today. It feels like the muscles in my ribs are so tense and my lower back. I feel shaky and so anxious... All I can think about is what might be lurking inside me. My bowel movements have been ok since when I thought I saw blood last Wednesday with nothing else seen... It's my aching lower abdomen which is a constant reminder that I'm not right and I try to tell myself it is probably IBS or anxiety tensing my muscles but it's so hard not to worry that I have a tumour or something in there :(

  6. #6
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    Jan 2018
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    Re: Petrified I have bowel cancer

    I thought I'd post an update, I've been in quite a bad place :( I went to a colorectal clinic and had a sigmoidoscopy and the Dr said he couldn't see anything which relieved me a little and he said he's 99% sure I'm ok on the bowel front but has referred me for colonoscopy to make absolutely sure, I'm having it this coming Saturday... I think I'm nervous about it but what has made me even more nervous is my blood results. I had full blood count done by the GP and my calcium level came back elevated, it was 2.66 and the upper boundary is 2.6. I've been absolutely fixated by the result and convinced it means I've got cancer brewing inside me... My anxiety has been horrific, it is affecting my marriage :( I've had back muscle discomfort and all I can think of is the worst. I'm petrified I either have bowel cancer that has spread to bone or lymphoma or myeloma or some other horrid cancer. I feel like my whole body is shaking inside, if I lay down I can feel it and if I move my teeth apart it's like they are chattering with fear... my appetite has gone too. Worst today but I feel like I had a hot flush at lunchtime and then felt cold. I'm petrified I'm going to die.

    Dr scheduled a retake of the blood test in a few weeks and I'm petrified of the result... All I want to do is be on my own which is hard as have a family to look after, I'm so miserable.

  7. #7
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    Jan 2018
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    14

    Health anxiety over everything

    I posted in bowel forum but as my anxiety feels out of control I thought I'd post here too. I've had health anxiety for 15 years although I think it has worsened as I've got older and had more responsibility... I've been convinced I've had breast cancer, bowel cancer, skin cancer, throat cancer, eye cancer and recently back to bowels again, I have a colonoscopy on Saturday. My recent bout of HA has probably been the worst I've experienced, apart from when I feared I had throat cancer and pretty much had a nervous breakdown. This time I've had loads of symptoms and it is hard to work out whether anxiety is causing them or something sinister, it's a horrid cycle. I had a stressful time at work which seemed to impact my guts, I then became OCD with stool inspection and then thought I saw blood (hence colonoscopy) then had back pain and a blood test with calcium elevated (2.66 when cutoff is 2.6) which sent me over the edge, I have a retest of it in 2 weeks and I'm petrified I have lymphoma or myeloma or some metastasised cancer... My muscles seem to have constant shakes internally like I'm scared and if I hold my teeth apart they chatter... I can't think of anything else, it is consuming me with fear and impacting my marriage. I don't know what to do :(

  8. #8
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    Re: Petrified I have bowel cancer

    Hi

    This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

    Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.


    It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
    __________________
    Nicola

    “Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.” - Natalie Babbitt

    Please help keep NMP running and donate to the running costs: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/donate




  9. #9
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    Re: Petrified I have bowel cancer

    What help are you getting for the HA though?
    __________________
    Nicola

    “Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.” - Natalie Babbitt

    Please help keep NMP running and donate to the running costs: http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/donate




  10. #10
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    Jan 2018
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    Re: Petrified I have bowel cancer

    At the moment I'm not, I've had CBT twice in the past but it hasn't really helped. it feels like this is it... I have so many symptoms that I think I have cancer, the least of my worries is help for HA :( I have said to my wife that I'll look at doing psychotherapy if I by a miracle am not ill but right now I just feel so alone and scared.

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