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Thread: Starting Citalopram

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    5,643

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    I think it's a good idea you decided to keep a day-to-day diary. It will help you and others.
    Keep remembering the reward at the end and also congratulate yourself for being so brave. x

  2. #12

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation View Post
    I think it's a good idea you decided to keep a day-to-day diary. It will help you and others.
    Keep remembering the reward at the end and also congratulate yourself for being so brave. x
    Thank you for the support! I think it is a good thing as it gives me something to focus on in the morning when the anxiety is at its highest. Yesterday was quite a good day as I had a day full of different meetings including a briefing in a lecture hall and whilst I admit I sat at the end of a row near the front in case it got too much I lasted right through. Not without anxiety for sure, but managed to keep it in check. Also cooked supper last night for the first time in a while, nothing exciting, but at least I could face doing it. Other goods news was last night I slept better than the past few nights.

    Today is day 6 - and my anxiety is quite high this morning and I am trying to remind myself that it is still early and I will have ups and downs. Also I am starting a local Managing Stress and Anxiety 6 week programme this afternoon and new places and people are a slight trigger for me at the best of times. Combining that with some fear of facing these things anyway and I am extra shaky today. Streaming Claire Weekes for half an hour whilst I eat breakfast and take my tablet

  3. #13

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    Ok then and onto day 7! Feels like a little milestone actually that it is a week since I started the tablets and I remember thinking I wouldn't make it to the end of the week without stopping the tablets or just going totally mad. Since neither of those things has happened - a small hurrah!

    Yesterday was probably the most challenging day I had had so far in that I had a meeting with my boss to talk about my current state and he is quite senior so I expected the worse and for him to look at me as if I was less than he needed. Turns out he was lovely about it and he even opened up to me that he struggles with an auto-immune disease which he has to manage and is struggling with. We had a great talk about how you can never tell what someone has going on in their life.

    Then the dread of the course I was going on, felt sick right up to the door and was a bit quiet in it, but got chatting to a couple of people. It is a 6 week CBT programme run by the local mental health organisation and having done the first week I am more comfortable with doing the rest. The people are nice, the group is a real mix of ages and sexes which kind of comforted me a lot that this is problem that can hit anyone at anytime, but that we can be open about it and work together. After the course I was calmer and had a friend round for supper and a movie whilst my husband was out which was good for both of us I think.

    Side effects - still anxious in the mornings and when challenged (also aware that is my own anxiety and potentially not just the meds) - I would have slept ok last night I think if a car alarm outside hadn't kept going off in the early hours!! Muscles aching a lot, but probably from just being so tensed up all the time. Starting to increase my food intake a little and introduce some healthier choices (not loads - but small and often).

    All in All - not horrible

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    2,724

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    Great to hear you're doing better - cheering you on from the sidelines here!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    5,643

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    I think rewarding yourself for achievements is important and a good excuse for a treat.

  6. #16

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    And on into Day 8

    Yesterday was a fairly good day! I had a quiet day at work based at my desk so I was able to take things at my pace without having to face a lot of challenges, cooked supper again veggie packed pasta dish and slept well. Declaring it a success as as suggested I celebrated with a chocolate mousse for pudding!

    This morning a little shaky again, but I think mainly because I have a challenging day ahead with two big meetings and two video conference calls (which I have always hated!) lol. Also some apprehension I suspect about the weekend. We put pressure on ourselves to be 'better' at weekends when we should be able to enjoy ourselves and I am trying to recognise that about myself and just take it easy. Remembering it is still early days and I don't actually have to do anything I don't feel I can cope with just yet.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    5,643

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    Yummy, chocolate mousse.
    Remember, another treat after your meetings.
    If you feel tensed, imagine your colleagues as naked, it will certainly take the edge off the tension and make you smile.

  8. #18

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    Well today is day 10. I took a day off posting yesterday as it was a Saturday and we did a fair few things around the house so kept quite busy.

    Friday was challenging with all the meetings, but I did do them all and didn't crack or freeze and actually managed to give some decent contributions I think. Very challenging, but felt good when I finished them all.

    Saturday I was expecting some anxiety as the days are less structured, but mostly it ended up being focused around when we went food shopping. Not too bad, but certainly there the whole time. I can't really concentrate as well so end up being a little useless. Luckily my husband understands and steps in to make decisions when needed.

    Today - last night had some anxiety in bed and anxious this morning, We have plans this afternoon to go out to a gentle concert in a park and we did this a lot last year as my husband plays in the band. I really want to go, but anxiety grows at the thought of it with the gnawing stomach pain and nausea. Will see how it goes today and update you all later!

  9. #19
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    5,643

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    Remember you are still early days on the meds, but I can already see your confidence building. x

  10. #20

    Re: Starting Citalopram

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation View Post
    Remember you are still early days on the meds, but I can already see your confidence building. x
    Morning x thank you for that - sometimes hard to look out from the inside of something

    The positive news from yesterday is that I went to the concert in the park and really enjoyed it!. It was a gentle few hours with my friend sat on the grass watching the band and then back to ours for an indoor picnic tea and group computer game play. A really lovely day. I should mention that I am also trying to follow the Claire Weekes work and just going with the flow a little. I have started talking about things after the thing that scares me like 'after we get back from the concert I will make those Italian potatoes everyone likes' and I find that is helping me. If I can see past the fear to the next thing it does seem to take some of the fear out of it, like I have already agreed with myself that I am doing it and I know that it has an end. I hope that makes sense and doesn't just sound like the ramblings of a madwoman lol

    So - onto day 11. Slept well last night and back at work today. Stay well all xx

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