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Thread: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    773

    Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    It is amazing how much time I wasted with HA when I was young, and honestly had little to worry about. These days, as I push 50, and my parents push 80, it seems like a new medical drama every few months, and none of them imagined.

    My mom was diagnosed today with Squamous Cell carcinoma on her nose. I know it has a great prognosis. They weren't even worried and she will have it shaven off with MOHS surgery. SCC on the nose almost never travels wider in the body. She has had it for about seven months. The thing is, I know she will be fine, or at least, sincerely believe she will be. I know as far as cancer goes, this one isn't a big deal. Only one in 280 people who get it die from it.

    And the truth is, while I am not really worried about her health, I know she is older and honestly doesn't process information like she used to. She heard "cancer" and got pretty scared. I talked her off the ledge a bit, using things my CBT taught me. I was happy to be able to help ease her anxiety.

    But now, selfishly, the HA is niggling at the back of my mind, those obsessive thoughts coming to the foreground. I recognize them, but I feel like a firefighter putting out little spreading ember, the fire be catastrophic thinking and projection. I am proud of myself for seeing it in advance, before this whole thing swallows me, that is real progress. But I am irritated I feel any anxiety at all, and ashamed of how I put it on myself.

    But then I have a derm appointment next month, and I have a physical next week. I have a rough, darker spot on the side of my nose, like an age spot that is chronically dry. It is likely an Actinic Keratois, as I have seen them before on my folks and friends etc. Not a big deal. And just like that, the catastrophic thinking turns in on myself, selfishly focused on me.

    I have felt real progress, and backslides almost simultaneously tonight since her phone call.

    It is amazing how you can make real progress with this mental illness, but as I get older, I feel like it is learning to live with a chronic condition more than something I will ever truly be "cured" of.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
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    19

    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    Reminds me of something I realized recently: when we are little our parents worry about us and care for us but later in life the roles swap. Itís a stress inducing event for sure but deep down you know that you and your mom will be fine.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
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    51

    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    I find it really interesting to hear this i am 23 and i always wonder will i ever get a chance to grow old!
    I think sometimes you have to realise how far you have come, and nothing has happened to you for all of that time so that should be reasuring in itself.
    As for me i always find it a huge insperation to know that people can live through this. I have heart palpitations and it does knock me back but when i read that people have had them for 30-40 years it really does calm me down a lot!

  4. #4
    Join Date
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    19,559

    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    I'm 60.... I had to chuckle at the thread title It all comes down to attitude. Shit is going to happen. That's life.

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    Sorry to hear about this, lofwyr.

    My dad had one of these skin cancers on his nose about 5 years ago. I don't know if it's the same type, there are several I know and I can't remember which is was now, but the specialist said it was very common in older people who have spent long periods of their lives in the sun e.g. road workers. My dad spent about 35+ years as a landscape gardener and is very brown from it. The specialist also said that it's very common and treatment was very successful.

    They whipped it off and attached what looked like an orange ping pong ball over the wound while it healed. He didn't opt for plastic surgery as in his own words "like it matters at my age". It was noticeable for the first year but after that it just blends in more as skin colour changes to match. But no issues and none expected and the only thing he was advised to do was wear high factor sunblock on that area in strong sun.

    So, I'm hoping it's the same kind of thing for your mum and all will be well again soon.

    Don't beat yourself up if you feel your anxiety raise, it's natural for anyone without anxiety. What matters is that you keep control of it and you are their for your mum which I'm sure will easily be your priority. This place is here if you want to vent or get some support with the anxiety to keep it away from family members but I get the impression you have good control of it anyway with your health conditions.
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    773

    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    Thanks guys. She scheduled her MOHS surgery, no one on the professional side is worried at all. I am pretty optimistic, thanks again for the support. I really do appreciate each and every one of you.

    =)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
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    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    I haven't had Moh's myself, but I did a lot of reading up when I had basal cell and it's incredibly clever technology.

    Best of luck to your mother!

  8. #8
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    Jun 2011
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    773

    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    As an update to this, she did fine, they got it all, and life is good. It looks like it might be my turn this week, getting some dodgy stuff biopsied, may have matching Mother son Moh's nose surgeries this year. Just what we always wanted. Like a parent child spa day only less fun. ;-)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
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    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    Quote Originally Posted by lofwyr View Post
    As an update to this, she did fine, they got it all, and life is good. It looks like it might be my turn this week, getting some dodgy stuff biopsied, may have matching Mother son Moh's nose surgeries this year. Just what we always wanted. Like a parent child spa day only less fun. ;-)
    I'm glad it went well for her, that's great news! My dad also had a cancerous lesion removed from his nose, as others here have also shared about themselves or parents, many years ago. He was fine once it was removed, never was an issue again.

  10. #10
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    Mar 2014
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    Re: Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

    That's great news about your mum yahoo:

    I hope all goes well for you too.
    __________________
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    For free Mindfulness resources, please see this thread I have created to compile many sources together http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=168689

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