Getting help for anxiety when family view it negatively

[Amywamey87]

Hi I was just wondering if anyones ever been in the same situation that I'm in? I've suffered with anxiety and panic attacks for the last 16 years. My anxiety got worse after I had my first child in 2016 and then my 2nd in 2017. I lost my Dad very suddenly Christmas last year and I've been struggling to grieve. I've barely cried and feel so empty. I've recognised that I need counselling and that I need to see the doctors about my anxiety and possibly go on medication. I broke down to my husband yesterday and told him I'm struggling with my anxiety and my chest feels tight, I'm struggling to breathe, having cold sweats etc. I've started cleaning the house every day as it makes me anxious if it's a mess. I can see a bit of OCD there too. I thought I would get support from my family but my Husband, Mom and Sister have been talking behind my back and they started sending me nasty messages last night. Now I understand they are going to be concerned about my anxiety but it's made me feel so broken and vulnerable that I've finally confided in someone and they have started to treat me negatively. My Husband came back from my Mums last night and was miserable towards me and gave me a dirty look and snapped you need to sort yourself out and get to the doctors. You are daft and need help. I told him not to speak nasty to me and he started shouting and swearing. I said please stop I'm struggling to grieve for my Dad and you don't mention him anymore or take me to his grave to which he replied "here we go again with the dad excuse". My sister was sending me messages saying I can sense you are not right and not well and I'm worried about you and that you attract bad spirirts into the house with yout negative attidue. My husband can be a bit of a narsacist and she basically said its all my doing. I hide most of my anxiety and are always smiling and laughing. I'm scared to get help now. I'm worried if I go and get help with my anxiety that if me and my husband ever split up that it will be used against me and I won't get custody of my children. He often says if we split up that he will take the children which is so damaging to use them as a weapon as it should be 50/50 if ever parents split. No harm as ever come to them and they are healthy and happy so for him to use them against me is petrifying. I feel like I'm in a very dangerous situation with my Mum and Sister taking sides with him. They don't realise how nasty he's been to my over the years. Calling Me horrible names like a fat ginger b@#£&rd and shouting and swearing at me. I just feel so alone and unsupported and don't know what to do.

[BlueIris]

Is there a refuge in the area? It sounds as though you need an escape route, and soon.

Please don't believe all the rubbish your husband is saying? It's a means of control, nothing else. I've been there (luckily there weren't kids involved) and I promise, you can get yourself out of this.

[ankietyjoe]

Furthermore, he's deluded if he thinks he'll get the children. You have to be a lot, lot sicker than you are now for any court to side with a Father.

Something to consider here is that he is a major source of anxiety for you as well. There is no excuse for any person to treat another person that way in a relationship.

I agree with BlueIris, I think it's worth planning your escape route if you need it, and also beginning to report his behaviour to somebody. You have the perfect right to grieve, and multiple reasons to feel anxiety. Get to the GP and push for counselling asap. They may well try and offer anti-depressants, but I feel you need an understanding shoulder to cry on first, if nothing else to validate the way you're feeling.