Before I begin I should mention that by self harm I don't mean knives on skin (fortunately) but I realised since I was around 11 years old I have been chewing my nails to ease any anxieties. It died down for two years as of 2017 as I had teeth braces and couldnt do it (I had the best set of nails then haha) but since January I have been TERRIBLE. My teeth will probably resort back to their crooked state if I carry on :(.
Ive posted SO much so you all probably know me since May and Im still sat here, 8:19AM with my usual morning anxiety (UGH) about my stomach and i have little fingernail infections ALL over these days. Ironically and chillingly enough, this was the start of my horrible (supposed) flare up in May as I took meds for an infection which seriously SERIOUSLY damaged me. I'm seeing blood frequently in my stool, Im seeing mucus, I cant touch any food without having white bread before so I bung myself up and in all honesty it has caused me little sprinkles of depression and the worst anxiety I think ive ever ever had. I am on a Masters degree course until September which definitely hasnt helped as I know Im on a deadline... and I currently have INCREDIBLE weeks (last week was my period week which I dreaded but I had no pain, no d* and was eating EVERYTHING). This week has already been pretty grim - had urges to go all day yesterday and up until the night felt terribly anxious cos of it. I look in the mirror at my fingers and feel STUPID as this is what caused the problem initially (my IBS was genuinely a good 4/10 before May..now its somewhere like 7 or 8). Sigh - anyone else bite/pull their finger skin?