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Thread: Sun spots

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
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    54

    Lump on cheek - terrified

    Hi everyone,

    I haven't posted to this forum in 8 years. I thought things were going well since I convinced myself I had lymphoma and going through one of the worst times of my life.

    Lately my new focus is skin cancer. I'm pale with freckles which I've had most of my life.
    2 weeks ago, I became hyper-aware of some raised freckles on my arm. They've been there as long as I can remember, but I just suddenly...noticed them.

    Saw the DR who took a look and said they're absolutely fine. Then, my focus shifted to a freckle next to my eye (again, something I've had for a while) and a different DR said that's also fine...it's just a freckle.

    Now I'm worried about a raised bump near my mouth on my cheek. I have one on the other side which has been there for years and never really bothered me. But this one was noticed a week or so ago and I thought it was a spot. I got rid of it, but it came back. It's very small - probably 2mm.

    Ever since this episode started I've been beside myself with worry. Panicking, driving myself to A&E in tears, not eating and crying constantly.

    Many people feel it's HA as I lost my sister to a rare cancer when we were both teenagers.

    Can someone please offer advice? I've even booked myself into a dermatologist on Tuesday which will cost me £200 but at this point I'm willing to pay to stop feeling like this. I'm so upset.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
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    24,667

    Re: Lump on cheek - terrified

    Since you've already had two medical professionals tell you not to be concerned, and light of the fact you're self-examining behavior is causing undue anxiety, I think the money would be better spent on real life professional help for your anxiety.

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
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    54

    Re: Lump on cheek - terrified

    Thank you for your reply.

    The doctors looked at another freckle. This is a different, small lump on my face that they haven't seen :(

  4. #4
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    Aug 2013
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    24,667

    Re: Lump on cheek - terrified

    Quote Originally Posted by LJay View Post
    The doctors looked at another freckle. This is a different, small lump on my face that they haven't seen :(
    In light of the fact that they are seeing your face quite clearly while speaking with you and knowing your skin concerns, what are the chances of them overlooking something suspicious on your face? Anyway... I guess 200 pounds it is....

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    54

    Re: Lump on cheek - terrified

    I had makeup on, it covers blemishes & freckles quite well and I only felt this bump again today. I thought if anything it would give me peace of mind which after the past 2 weeks is worth the £200 :(

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
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    54

    Dermatologist appointment tomorrow

    I'm really really struggling with my HA right now. :(

    I'm pale with a few freckles on my face which I think have always been there and never changed, though one next to my eye is the biggest. 2 GPs have told me it's just a freckle.

    This bout of HA started 2 weeks ago when I randomly 'noticed' some raised brown freckles on my arm. 4 are normal brown freckles and look alike, one is a tiny blueish colour that's been there as long as I can remember and never changed. It looks like a mark left after you've stabbed yourself with a pencil.

    After the GPs looked at them all and told me I'm fine, I started to feel normal again, then ran my hand along my cheek and found a raised spot which I spent ages picking and now it's gone and left a scab. But it was enough to set off my HA again.

    I'm paying to see a dermatologist tomorrow because it feels like nothing else will calm my mind. I have barely eaten in over a week, and spend any time where I'm not distracted crying or in a state of panic where I can't talk. My poor husband has been amazing to me through this and I want him to feel okay too. :(

    Pls someone help

  7. #7
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    Mar 2007
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    1,579

    Re: Dermatologist appointment tomorrow

    Hi LJay. Sorry you're having such a hard time of things. Do you know what set this spiral off? By all means see the dermatologist, but I think it's important to set yourself some limits. We're always going to get spots and bumps and moles and freckles, and you'll be horribly out of pocket if you're heading to a private specialist each time. You could easily see the specialist, come out feeling reassured, and find a new spot, and then what? Of course there are some things which do need checking out, so perhaps ask the dermatologist for advice about what should be medically assessed versus what you can safely leave alone. GPs see these things all the time and would know what warning signs to look for. Are you receiving any help with your anxiety?
    __________________
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  8. #8
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    Aug 2019
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    Re: Dermatologist appointment tomorrow

    Hi, thank you so much for your reply.

    You're right I can't do this each time I find a troubling symptom or it'll never end. I've only ever paid for one other consultation - an ultrasound in 2012 because I was convinced I had lymphoma! Once I left the hospital after that I felt like a new person, so relieved and free of the worry.

    My freckles etc have never bothered me because I've had them all my life. I just hadn't noticed the ones on my arm being raised before. I don't have many moles etc, don't sunbathe or go to tanning beds.

    Two doctors have told me what I have is just a freckle but I'm still worrying. It's so bad that I can barely look at myself in the mirror without crying at home, because it's noticeable when I'm not wearing makeup. The anxiety got so bad last week that I went to A&E in tears and spoke to a mental health nurse who was really lovely. He sent some notes to my GP to refer me for therapy for my anxiety but it's like...if the dermatologist tells me I'm fine then it'll all go away. The anxiety must be deeper than that and also need addressing though I guess. :(

  9. #9
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    Mar 2007
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    1,579

    Re: Dermatologist appointment tomorrow

    I completely understand. Your anxiety focuses on that one thing. Right now it's the freckle, in 2012 it was your lymphoma worries, and as soon as you get the all clear you get on with your life, right? Until next time. I would go ahead with the appointment tomorrow, which will hopefully get you out of the spiral, but then look into getting some support with the anxiety. It's a good time to do it as those feelings will be fresh in your mind. Good luck, and let us know how you get on.
    __________________
    'If you're going through hell, keep going' (Winston Churchill)

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
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    54

    Re: Dermatologist appointment tomorrow

    Thank you, I was actually close to cancelling tomorrow because honestly I'm terrified of going. My husband can't come with me because he's working and tbh I wouldn't ask him to anyway because (and this is the strange thing about HA sometimes) I'm actually pretty embarrassed too.

    I'm going anyway because if they tell me I'm fine I'll be able to move on with my life, and if they find anything at least I can act on it? (though following 2 DRs appointments telling me I'm fine, I'm hoping that's not the case).

    It doesn't help when I look on IG and find photos of people who have been diagnosed with BCC from just a small rash on their face! I saw some posts like this yesterday and my poor husband had to pick me up off the floor I was so scared. :(

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