Slightly derailed with my reply time, sorry! Yes I get what you're saying about the meds, I suppose it's the thought of how difficult it'll be to taper off of them if I do manage to get to a point where I'm managing ok in life. OR if we figure out the high dose isn't helping, I mean then you have to come off of it anyway? And don't get me wrong I am taking mental health seriously, if I wasn't I wouldn't go to psych doctors at all, it's just that health anxiety aside I have always been an overthinker and that doesn't help either...I recently found a phrase somewhere called paralysis by analysis I think? Sums up my life haha

At night all I want to do to is lie down and relax really, but that can never happen as my anxiety goes up whenever I try to relax :( I've been trying to go out for more evening walks recently given good enough weather, but knowing days are getting shorter don't know how often I'll be doing it through the winter as I'm a bit hesitant to go for walks through barely lit roads. The odd night I will play video games in the evening and it's a great distraction while it lasts - but recently I've been so anxious I can't even do this one hobby I really enjoy. I'll do the odd bit here and there but nothing spectacular.

Anyway it's been another week since checking and I was surprised at how quick that went and I didn't realise I didn't check (minus the fact I checked something ELSE I hadn't checked for a while and found something but that's a whole other story...), two days I had managed to nicely control my cough to a nice level but yesterday it just came back full force. Yeah. This is difficult, HA is difficult :(