Starting Law School today! Anxiety that health stuff will ruin everything!

[ErinKC]

Hey Everyone! I haven't been on here in a while because I'm been doing wonderfully. Even now, my anxiety about health is really pretty well in check. But, today is my first day of law school and I think my anticipatory anxiety is getting the better of me! I had a series of issue with my fibroids earlier in the summer, but my symptoms had really settled down with diet change. But, this week and last week I've been having more pelvic pain and pressure and it started my anxiety about - what if my fibroids keep growing and I need surgery or something and it ruins everything with my law school. I know this is such typical anxiety thinking "what if, what if, what if!" But, I thought just getting it out to people who understand might help! I also know that my stomach issues this week almost certainly have at least a partial anxiety component!

I've been so, so excited about starting school but it's also a big change! I'm 36 and I have a 5 year old who will be starting kindergarten in 2 weeks. I've been a stay at home mom for 5 years, so while I've done freelance writing during that time I've also had an extremely flexible schedule. Now, I'll be going to class 4 nights a week and have a lot of homework to do in addition to my freelance stuff. I'll miss bedtime with my daughter those 4 nights and then she'll start school and be gone all day. I think all this change at once is really, finally starting to overwhelm me and make me doubt myself and my abilities - Can I really handle this? Will my body hold up? Am I healthy enough, smart enough, etc...?

How have you guys dealt with REALLY big life changes all at once and kept your anxiety in check? I'll see my therapist on Friday, so it'll be good to talk about this and how my first week goes, but any tips from experience would be great!!

[katniss]

Hello Erin,

Firstly, congratulations on beginning law school! It sounds very exciting! Have you got your back to school shopping done yet? That’s the best part isn’t it? I’m a sucker for pretty stationary

Secondly, I don’t have advice, I’m sorry. However, I am in the same boat as you. Currently 31 and going back to work after 4 years. My oldest is 4 and younger one is 3. Both start Montessori in the Fall. I have been an emotional wreck since the last week or so. Although, I was signed on for the job in May, it didn’t hit me until last week that life as I know it will take a 360 spin. In a few weeks the kids will be at school and my husband and I will be at full-time work, there will be a new schedule and routine and things will *change*.

I have OCD when it comes to the house. And it wasn’t too bad over the last 4 years because I was at home so I could clean and cook throughout the day and keep things running. But I often felt and still feel that I can’t keep up and things don’t look the way that I would like (trying to go a little easier on myself with this, because it practically ruined me in the first few years of being a “housewife”). Now with both kids off to school and me going back to teaching after 4 years I am coping and trying to tackle my OCD by just re-organizing. I have made a schedule and stuck it on the fridge for the kids With pictures. My oldest has some idea of chronological order so hopefully that will help. I am currently making printouts for the bathroom so that the kiddos know what to do in the mornings when we leave the house. I have anxiety when it comes to leaving the house on time. Can’t stand being late and I actually end up with an upset stomach when things are too chaotic. I am also preparing everything now so that next week we can all relax and enjoy the last week of summer together before we are all off to school and work. I am excited about going back to work as well so I’m keeping things cheery as well. Bought some cute new stationary for myself and some pretty plants for the classroom. Sorry this is so long-winded but I wanted to give you an idea of how I am dealing with the changes. The only way I know of is to organize everything to a T so things run smoothly and I don’t lose control. I am sure you will do great. Best wishes! We are in this together

[MyNameIsTerry]

Erin, just wanted to pop in to say it's great to hear you have started at law school. I hope you enjoy this experience and it takes you where you want to go.

I would suggest there is likely going to be an adjustment period and especially because of anxiety and having a long standing routine that will now be broken. These unknowns will soon become a new routine and you will adjust so don't read too much into it and try to just push on through.

[ErinKC]

Sorry I haven't been back for so long! It's been so busy! Thank you for sharing your experience katniss! It really is stress-producing to have your routine upended. My husband will be doing end of the night/bedtime routine 4 nights a week and I definitely have to consciously just let go of having control over things like how the dishwasher is loaded, if he lets our daughter watch youtube or play video games before bed, and how well he cleaned up the house. He has never judged me about what we do when I'm home with her, so I have to just chill out. But, that's tough!!

And, thanks for the well wishes, Terry!! The first week was exhausting, but I managed to get ahead and finish all of my work for this week over the weekend and get in my work work and now I have a good system in place that will only get easier once I have all the hours in the day that my daughter will be in school. It also means I can relax and spend this week with her before she starts. And, it gave me more confidence that I can actually handle this school!!

I even went in for a regular physical/check up with my primary care doctor on Thursday just to start off my self-care on a good foot - getting blood work and everything done during a time when I'm not in crisis so I know that I've been checked and all is well. I have my annual dermo exam next month and dental cleaning this week, so I'm on top of my health in a healthy way! I was also way less tired when I got home from class than I expected. I think class is mentally energizing - way more so than cooking and cleaning could EVER be for me - so I feel like I'm going to actually feel more alert and active than I did as a stay at home parent which, while obviously a wonderful opportunity, was just not the absolute best choice for my and my mental health!

I'll keep you guys posted on how it goes!

[lofwyr]

Erin, hope all continues to go well. The thing that can be wonderful about such activities as intensive education, is you end up with less time to dwell on the little issues our anxious minds blow out of proportion.

Practice good self-care, do something fun when you can, and try to really enjoy this new chapter of your life!

Congratulations again!

[ErinKC]

Erin, hope all continues to go well. The thing that can be wonderful about such activities as intensive education, is you end up with less time to dwell on the little issues our anxious minds blow out of proportion.

Practice good self-care, do something fun when you can, and try to really enjoy this new chapter of your life!

Congratulations again!

Thanks, lofwyr! And yes, as crazy as it seems, helping my anxiety was a huge reason for applying to law school in the first place. I never had anxiety until after my daughter was born. While a good portion of it was hormonal in the beginning, I think it persisted because of so many years of having an idle mind. Parenting full time is so time consuming, but not intellectually consuming in a way that pushed the anxiety out. I think it's so true that there will be so much less space for invasive thoughts with so much to learn and so much time spent on school. At least I hope so!!