Fearing ALS

[pulisa]

The neurologist won't be able to reassure you because you know you have ALS and nothing will convince you otherwise. Your poor baby is going to have a Dad who has self-diagnosed himself with ALS and so will be a self-styled invalid. It must be awful for your girlfriend to have to carry you as well as your baby.

[Seymour]

Is this really necessary? Talking about my child and saying I won’t be a good dad? I think that is unnecessary and very mean, regardless of your opinion on my health anxiety.

I am trying to overcome it but I have great difficulty as I spend my days twitching and shaking and having weak legs or perceived weak legs but they’re less than optimal regardless of terminology.

Yes I am seeking reassurance and as I’m having problems with my body that I can’t make sense of and that all seem to point towards ALS even though somehow everyone says it doesn’t but I don’t rationally comprehend why.

Anyway I will get out of your hair as I see that I’m a nuisance here and that I’m seen as an attention seeker. I’m just a deeply anxious person who doesn’t know how to control that anxiety and I’m searching for kindness and reassurance in the wrong places.

[Carys]

Pulisa is trying to give you a wake-up-call, time is ticking by Seymour to that little life that really needs you 100 percent, coming into the world. She is trying to draw you out of your 'HA self-centred state'. You said to me 'I need to get my SH*T together' and now its time to do so. I don't know if you and your girlfriend live together, or if the baby will be with you 24/7, but there won't be time for such obsession if you have a new life to care for. NOBODY, absolutely nobody you have seen thinks you have a neurological issue.

[BlueIris]

Anyway I will get out of your hair as I see that I'm a nuisance here and that I'm seen as an attention seeker. I'm just a deeply anxious person who doesn't know how to control that anxiety and I'm searching for kindness and reassurance in the wrong places.

Would it really be more kind of us to humour you in your delusions and help you stay on the same treadmill you seem to keep wanting to run on forever?

What you might not remember is most of us here have been where you are, and we don't want you to lose huge chunks of your life to this vile disease like we have.

We don't want your partner or child to lose chunks of their life to your illness either, though. Health anxiety makes a person self-absorbed in a way you can't afford to be with a new baby on the way.

[Dying_Swan]

No-one has said you won't be a good Dad. What they ARE saying is that your life is about to change dramatically and both your partner and your baby are going to need you. It would therefore be an idea to seek some help with your anxiety, pronto.

No-one thinks you have a neurological disorder because your doctors don't. Why would we doubt them? Interesting that you picked up on the "brisk reflexes" but none of what the doctor said to reassure you. None of us with anxiety like uncertainty, and we tend to focus on one little thing whilst totally ignoring the bigger picture. Take a step back. The rheumatologist said there is no weakness. What if you see a neurologist who says the same? Then what?

I'm pretty sure anyone would feel weak and shaky if they'd spent months lying on the sofa, and you said yourself you feel better when you get some exercise. How about committing to exercising daily? Did I also see you say you're seeing a therapist?

[Carys]

No-one thinks you have a neurological disorder because your doctors don't. Why would we doubt them?

Absolutely! Its interesting the whole 'doubt a doctor' routine - I can't think of one instance on here over the last few years where a doctor, or multiple health professionals the HA sufferer visited, missed a serious illness. There have been people who have been diagnosed with serious things, of course, but there was concern from their GP and consultants from the start and awareness that 'all was not right'. The fact that various people have given reflex tests and physical examinations, and found nothing wrong, would mean that the conclusion should be that you definitely don't have it.

Anxiety: The adrenaline rushes caused by anxiety can cause your reflexes to be more responsive than normal.

[AJG]

I can understand the doubt when you have heath anxiety. I still have doubts myself and I decided to go through my nerve study that is booked in November. There are things I am seeing in my situation as caused by my medication.

When I started Zoloft and went up the dose I had lots of heightened symptoms, now I'm in the taper phase and a lot of my heightened symptoms have disappeared. I still have twitches but more faint one's. When I'm working I barely notice them as I am not concentrating on them.

However, there are still doubts even though I saw an amazing neurologist that has talked to me for an hour.

I also question my brisk reflexes I'm suddenly brisk all over arms and legs but symetrical. I'm 2 plus in my arms and 3 plus in legs, but if there is no clonus it is all good. I just keep telling myself that. I know it is not my normal as I was previously assessed by a physiotherapist early in this craziness.

Now I have pain when I swallow deep in my esophagus that radiates to my back. It has been like this since Friday but it also seems my gastro issues are back since I am decreasing the zoloft. They improved on the zoloft. I realized today doctors are starting to see me as "the girl who cried wolf" when I went for this particular issue. The focus became on my anxiety and it is not fun to be dismissed by any means.

The physical symptoms are very scary because they are nothing like I ever experienced before so I can understand the craziness that happens in one's mind.

I started a more hands on CBT as my previous therapy was not going well as I was not getting much out of it.