Originally Posted by
flatterycat
I am still anxious about the blood. Logically I know it is coming from a pile, but I am still caught in a cycle of checking and ruminating. I keep thinking that I am now 50, so it's much more likely to be BC. I dread going to the loo, but each time I have looked in pan and all seems fine - the blood is a very small amount, fresh and only when I wipe and I have been checked my a doctor. I also spoke on the phone to another doc who also reassured me. I'm now caught up in the most irrational thinking - if I see blood when I prod or check I can accept it is a pile, but then I worry that the initial blood was from BC and subsequent blood is from me messing with it. The other thing is that I am scared to go to loo in case I see blood in the actual stool which I know will send me over the edge.
I am due to go on holiday today and really don't want to spoil it for anyone else. I want to not check AT ALL while I am away, because if I see anything I know it will ruin the holiday. However, I know that each time I have checked poo in the loo over the last 5 days it has looked fine and this has given me great relief until the next time I need to go. Do you think it will be a good idea to literally not check at all while I am on holiday? Or could I miss something? I will get lovely relief if each day I don't see anything, but if I did...
I am sorry for repeating myself, but I just wanted some advice.
Thank you x