I'm claiming benefits at the moment because of agoraphobia and sociophobia, and yesterday i found out i have a medical coming up soon (3rd Oct). I know it's stupid, but i'm so worried about it that i can't sleep.

I just feel sure i'm going to mess it up, or not be able to go, and i don't know how i'm going to get by financially if i fail it. I do feel i've made some progress lately, and i really want to be able to work again and have a normal life back, but i'm terrified because i know i can't do it yet. I'm on Citalopram and am seeing a CPN which is going ok, and i'm attempting to go away for a few days next week - although the closer that gets, the more convinced i become that i'm not going to be able to do that too. I try to get out as much as i can, but there are lots of days when i can't even step out the front door. I'm still useless with nearly any kind of social situation too. Unless i've had a few drinks, i even find it virtually impossible to go in the chat room on here - how ridiculous is that? I just can't think of anything to say, or worry that i'll say the wrong thing and look stupid, and even though i know it doesn't really matter, i can't seem to shake off my fears about it.

I know i'm probably making a fuss about nothing, and that other people have much worse things to worry about, so i shouldn't really complain. I don't even know what i'm looking for people to say in response to this. I'm just so sick of even the smallest thing being such an impossibly big deal to me. Sorry to have gone on.