HA taking it's toll

[mcohen]

Just writing this to vent and seek advice. I am 24 and have worried about my health for as long as I can remember, certainly since before my teens. I know my HA has spiralled over the years - originally I used to like going to the doctors to get an all clear, whereas now I've reached a point where I am scared to go to the doctor in case they give me bad news. In recent months it feels like the HA is really beginning to take it's toll on my mental health, and I'm quite sure I've slipped into some form of (mild) depression.

I am relatively successful, I am lucky to have a good job and great friends, and I am constantly told by family and friends how well I am doing. Yet I don't really see it that way, and I can't shake this general unhappiness/dissatisfaction. I'm quite sure the constant stress and worry of the HA is the root cause of this, and I suppose it makes sense that if you spend years and years worrying it's going to have an impact eventually. I used to love going to the gym and have planned to get back into it but I just can't motivate myself to go. I am happy when I'm with other people but it does seem that unless I am spending every waking moment socialising with others then I am not happy, and of course it is not possible to do this all the time. However, it's definitely time spent alone that is the worst.

I have contemplated whether depression meds are the way to go but I am hesitant, as I know it is quite common for men to suffer certain performance related side effects, and I really don't want to introduce a problem that I don't have. Further, I have read that whilst they improve depression, you can end up feeling a bit of nothingness, a bit withdrawn, which again I don't like the idea of.

Any advice would be appreciated.

[BlueIris]

Okay, not a man and can only speak for myself here, but I've been on an SSRI for almost a year now.

Prior to this, I'd had zero libido for several years, but now it's very gradually starting to flicker back into life.

More relevant, though, is worrying about feeling dulled, which I was afraid of, too. This absolutely hasn't been the case; what's happened instead is that I've been able to act on my creativity and actually do the things I've wanted to rather than being constantly paralysed by fear and self-doubt. I've also become more gregarious, at least a little, and it's a lot easier to be sociable when the little voice of self-doubt is damped down.

[Hypo84]

There is absolutely no reason to feel afraid of SSRI's in terms of libido, it will be fine. Also, you won't end up feeling withdrawn etc, on the contrary, once your anxiety diminishes you will feel much much better.