So. Very. Tired.

[BlueIris]

Unfortunately it all hit last night, and I landed up out of bed at 1.30am panicking at my husband over some mild gum swelling and soreness (I'm morbidly afraid of the dentist).

He was very lovely and didn't get annoyed, because he knows that on this occasion I haven't been wilfully neglecting myself. I let him talk me back to bed and then used mindfulness techniques to nudge myself back to sleep. Have been coming ever-closer to falling down the Google hole properly this past week, though.

I think I'm going to try and set the guilt aside and go for a firm 5pm finish today and Friday; I have a hankering for Friday night in with a curry, so that'll be a little treat to look forward to.

[jojo2316]

BI- you have insight on your side, which is a powerful ally. You are in danger of losing your balance right now, and you recognise the signs. Please please PLEASE do what you say and be firm about a 5pm finish. No guilt is needed. You won’t be any good to anybody if you let this spiral.
You really rock, BI. You are one of the reasons I love NMP so much and I want you to look after yourself. Sending you lots of virtual hugs. We are rooting for you
xxxxx

[BlueIris]

Thank you, Jojo, I can't tell you how much it means to hear that from you.

I've been sneaky and decided to trick myself into getting away promptly by making sure my weekly beading project I do for a FB group I'm on isn't something I can do in five minutes; I won't be able to complete it unless I have a reasonable amount of evening. Then, if I decide I'm too tired, I can still do the five-minute last-minute thing if I want to.

Massive hugs rightbackatcha; you're an awesome person and one of the people I've really enjoyed getting to know on here.

[jojo2316]

Thank you, Jojo, I can't tell you how much it means to hear that from you.

I've been sneaky and decided to trick myself into getting away promptly by making sure my weekly beading project I do for a FB group I'm on isn't something I can do in five minutes; I won't be able to complete it unless I have a reasonable amount of evening. Then, if I decide I'm too tired, I can still do the five-minute last-minute thing if I want to.

Massive hugs rightbackatcha; you're an awesome person and one of the people I've really enjoyed getting to know on here.

Youve got this! I hope today goes ok and I look forward to checking in with you after 5 to make sure you are home and resting!
xxxx

[pulisa]

A 5pm curfew is a great idea. A job is just a job at the end of the day. I know we can all be perfectionists and want to do our very best at all times but you are sensible in that you recognise when you are struggling and take measures to protect yourself. Your mental health needs preserving-no one else can do it for you. Roll on Friday and stick to that curfew today!! Your beading needs you!! xx

[BlueIris]

The backup I get on here helps so much. The truth is that nobody at work is pressuring me to stay late, I just feel bad for letting the side down even though most people are leaving at 5pm.

[pulisa]

The backup I get on here helps so much. The truth is that nobody at work is pressuring me to stay late, I just feel bad for letting the side down even though most people are leaving at 5pm.

I'm glad you will be joining them today without feeling guilty. Hope you manage to catch up on the latest "Bake Off" too?

I had a tremendously stressful job in Intelligence many moons ago. It was the very last job I should have done because I put so much pressure on myself and made myself so ill. Take good care of yourself, BI xx

[Scass]

5pm finish sounds like a great rule to stick to. As does a curry in front of the tv.

Everyone is right, it is just s job and your health is more important. I’m on holiday this week but I’ve spent 30 minutes this morning reading through my work emails because I don’t want to be too bogged down when I go back next week. It’s tough when you’re part of a small team, and if you enjoy your job then you want to do well. It’s about striking a balance, and you sound like you are ready to do that.

On the dentist thing, I need a filling replaced tomorrow. I am really trying to stay calm.... I completely understand your fear though x

[BlueIris]

I always check work emails before I go back after a holiday, because I don't want to get any nasty surprises. I think it's good sense if you're naturally anxious.

[DustingMyselfOff]

I know this is WAY out of your comfort zone, but would you consider taking a "Mental Health Day"? Call in sick or call it a vacation day, but you deserve and need one full day of staying home and nurturing yourself. When I was at my wit's end with the demands of my job, I always found a day off (in the middle of the week) helped me tremendously to recharge my batteries and re-ground myself.

You are exhausted, physically and mentally...... recharge and re-fuel!
Sue