I don’t think I’ve ever been this anxious, depressed and suicidal in my life.

For two months now I’ve been feeling dizzy, not like the room is spinning but dissociated, like I’m always woozy, just slightly off and can’t snap back to normal.

Two weeks ago I was on the couch watching a movie and I felt this vibration in my head, like someone was rattling my brain, and my face felt numb and I almost thought I would pass out.

Since then I’ve add these "flares" when my constant dizziness gets more intense and my brain vibrates and my face feels numb. It gives me a panic attack every time and when it calms down I’m left with this dizziness that just never goes away.

I’ve had blood tests, an ECG and neurological exams and everything was fine. Doctors say my dizziness is from constant panic attacks and anxiety. I have a very hard time believing that anxiety can bring on such heavy and constant symptoms.

I just don’t see an end to this dizziness and panic. I feel terrible physically and mentally. I don’t have hope that this will ever go away. Doctor gave me Zoloft and Ativan but advised against taking too much Ativan. I’m constantly panicking over these symptoms and have a hard time going out or talking about anything else. I wish I’d die in my sleep.

My therapist, doctor and family all say it’s anxiety and I feel very alone. I have managed to have an appointment for an MRI of my brain in 4 days. I’m sure they’ll find something like MS and frankly I almost hope they do so I can maybe treat the symptoms. If my brain is clear I just don’t know what I’ll do. Everyone is tired of me and I feel powerless. I feel like disapppearing.