Friday/ Saturday night

[yurgita]

Hi,

I am sitting in office and all time I am thinking "today is Friday, I have to go out" On my street where I live there are 3 or 4 night clubs, but I am afraid to enter alone, as to me seems that everybody will be looking at me and think how they are sorry that I am alone and etc. But I like to dance and I want to have some drinks and simply to talk to people. It is dream to feel free, but as start planning to go, I feel at once very tired, awful, fat and I know that I can come to entrance of club and never enter to it.
Have you ever face such problem and how you force yourself just get out of home.
Thank you for sharing your experience and ideas.

[loubylou]

Hi Yurgita,

Don't think people are looking at you and feeling sorry for you because you are alone, many people out there are the same as you. Don't let this thinking stop you from going or doing things you enjoy, try to stay positive, go to the night club, and stand there for a while, and see how you feel just being outside there, you may feel your anxiety rise, but it will then come back down, then just try going inside, and see how you feel then, REMEMBER panic attacks won't harm you, yes they are a frightening experience, but as soon as they come they then disappear. Talk positive to yourself as you stand outside night club. Give it a go, you won,t know how you feel unless you give it a good try.

Good luck

[Joe1981]

I get like this too but i know one thing.. If you start avoiding places that give you a panic attack or a place that makes you nervous, your symptoms will only get worse and things will only get harder to do..

At least go out and try to stay as long as you can if your anxiety gets too high just step outside for a few mins and calm down then go back in there and try again.. Never just give up doing something you like to do because of this darn anxiety!

Good luck, you can beat this!

[mico]

You obviously live in the center of town, which is an advantage. Maybe you could start off small? Going into quiet pubs, cafes, or restaurants, eating there regularly and getting used to being around people. You may even meet people.

People do go to nightclubs alone so you won't be the only one, although I can understand your concerns. A couple of things to keep in mind is that you sometimes find local groups who will meet up and have nights out, or the possibility of asking someone from work to join you.

Give yourself some positive self talk before you go.

[dinkydoo]

When I get social phobia I try and do what my Mum advised which is strike up conversation and try to make others feel relaxed and make them feel you are interested in them, then it takes the focus off of yourself, it is hard work but worth it, just to get you mingling and build your confidence.
I am worst at family gatherings of the 'in law' side as I feel they have not really made an effort welcoming me early on and never really asked me much about myself. Alot of it is low feelings of self worth. Try to hold your head up and be proud of who you are.
I avoid the family parties purely cause I have had enough of trying to fit in, and feel like I am at a time in my life where I want to please myself a bit more.