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Thread: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin

  1. #11
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    Re: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin

    This isn’t an experiment where you can rule out all other variables to find the one causing the problem. You also have no true control group. You’re going to have to keep going with trial and error
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  2. #12

    Re: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin

    100% of my friends are all male, which is probably another problem in itself. I do attend meetups, so I try to improve my social skills. I am going to a meetup this Sunday. Very rarely do I meet women who want to go out. Although, I did a few weeks ago, so who knows. Most meetups here are >80% male, but I try to talk to women even in this skewed setting.

  3. #13
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    Re: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin

    Any dating groups/sites for those with Autism? I know we have some in SoCal.
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  4. #14

    Re: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin

    In San Francisco, meetups are geared towards tech/IT stuff. Due to the high male-to-female gender ratio, the meetups are usually about software, coding/tech, beer and IPA, hiking, video games, board games and other stuff that mostly males in their 20s engage in.

    As for dating specifically, I have not seen a group that makes regular, well-planned meetups for that. There is a cougar meetup, which is basically for males in their 20s to get with women in their 50s and over. It sounds a bit strange to me, and that meetup is usually a long drive in another city. I doubt that I should get involved in that anyway.

    Several years ago when I started becoming really self-conscious about being a virgin, I attended a speed dating meetup. It was terrible and very expensive, costing $45 entry for male participants. If there existed more relaxed, free meetups with an even gender ratio here, I would not mind going.
    Last edited by Leonid_Brezhnev; 04-09-19 at 07:38.

  5. #15
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    Re: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin

    Yes, if you’re looking for a good relationship or long term gf, I’d stay away from the cougar meetings. If you don’t care, and only want to have sex, that would be an option. Wear protection.
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  6. #16
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    Re: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin

    Hey dude,

    I can appreciate your position. I lost my virginity later than peers, and if it wasn't for the Internet I wouldn't have a partner. I'm shy, introverted, don't socialize etc.

    Do you have personal issues that you feel may affect your chances of getting a girlfriend? I was bullied at school for having messed up crooked teeth ... they're still that way with one missing at the front because I got attacked with a brick during a night out. I'm most definitely not what a girl would call a good catch in terms of looks, but I have other qualities that my partner seems to enjoy (and lots pf qualities she doesn't!)

    But with that in mind there is 100% a girl out there for you. You just need to find her.

    I can't muster a conversation with a female at all. Women scare me in real life. Probably because I was bullied by girls when I was younger. They tied me to a tree and beat me up, spat on me and all sorts. I'm only saying this because I want you to know that it doesn't matter about any of that because there is somebody out there for you.

    Do you participate in any hobbies outdoors? Is there anything you enjoy that you could maybe join a club? Anything you can do that will put you around other people that enjoy the same things you do? If so, go try something new. Don't do it with the intent of looking for a partner, because you'll perceive every female you speak too as a potential catch, but just make friends. Be yourself. Let the natural you come out over time and you'll find people will be attracted to your qualities. Remember, don't actively look. Just be yourself.

    I'm no guru at this dating business. But, I am somebody who is somewhat similar to you and I've manage to have 2 long relationships.

    Do you have aspergers btw? I know you said your mother does.

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