I have been living a very isolated life for a while. This is due to an unbearable social anxiety. It's like I literally have to avoid people at all costs.

Also i'm not very happy where I live. My neighbour seems to hate me...
I tried to play football out the back with my brother but I just got remarks hurled at me and threats.
Also I feel like I don't belong because all the rest of my family apart from my mum and dad are in London.
My mum has also said to me she doesn't want to live here.

I haven't been to school in years (i'm 15), i've been homeschooled since I was about 12 and this is because I would suffer panic attacks at school.

Recently, I visited London to see my family. Some of the depression went away and I actually felt like I was at home. I wish I could go back
However I went to my grandad's church but suffered another panic attack because I was surrounded by people. I had to leave. I felt guilty afterwards because everyone was so nice but being the centre of attention made it worse :(

Ever since I came back things have gone right back downhill again. The depression started creeping back about 3 days before I left. I had a total breakdown yesterday out of nowhere. One moment it was 5:30PM ish and I woke up on the floor at 8:05 on the floor. I don't remember anything that happened. Since I woke up I feel like i'm behind glass once more. I feel trapped