How do you break the cycle of catastrophic thinking when faced with real crisis?

[Fishmanpa]

Hey thanks for the input guys. It is also amazing to hear from people on the other side of the thing you face. It does give some sense of "this isn't as horrible as it feels like it will be."

As an aside, I am not too worried about scars. I am pushing 50, married to a lovely woman who will take me with my lumps. I am more worried about bone infiltration and how much of my nose they will have to take etc. Just the usual "what-ifs." This is a pretty big one, so hoping it doesn't go too deep. In my brief googling episode when I felt it safe to research, I saw a few guys who had to have total nose rebuilds. Hoping to avoid that if I can.

Thanks again for the input guys, I am nervous, but in a better place at the moment. Just trying to go a day at a time. For whatever reason, mornings suck the worst for me anxiety wise.

I too had thoughts like this when faced with the surgeries to remove my cancer. I saw fellow H&N patients that needed jaw reconstruction surgery and had to eat via a feeding tube (which I did for a month after treatment) Would they find it in my jaw or larynx and have to remove it? Would I have a voice or be able to eat properly etc? As they all kept saying on the cancer forums.... One step at a time... Everyone is different....

Also, like you, I have a partner in life who is 100% supportive and would do anything to help me as I would and have done for her.

Find things to occupy yourself. I found distraction the best coping method.

Stay Strong!

Positive thoughts

[BlueIris]

I think it helps more than almost anything to have a partner who has your back. Mr. Iris has been wonderful through the BCC and through my anxiety and depression, and it makes such a massive difference to have somebody who accepts you no matter what.

[lofwyr]

In no small part, thanks to you guys, I finally hit that wall today, that wall that says "look, it is what it is, and all I can do is to do what I can."

Is my BCC serious? Sure is. But it is literally 99.95% unlikely to metastisize. It is a big, mean aggressive form, and there will be some unfun days ahead for sure, but I have accepted it.

Assuming I am not in the .05% of folk who deal with advance mets, and I will act on that assumption, I have accepted it.

If I lose my nose, so be it, I can get an awesome one rebuilt on the foundation. My wife will have to live with an Andy Rooney face with a Brad Pitt nose. That is about the worst case scenario, also maybe some scars to make me look like a bad ass.

So, thanks again for your input guys, it really helped. Found a couple solid support groups (they really are priceless when faced with a real condition--though I see far too many folks with HA in the BCC and aneurysm groups I am in). I will steer clear of posting too much in this group, so as to avoid triggering anyone, but wanted to thank you again.

[Fishmanpa]

though I see far too many folks with HA in the BCC and aneurysm groups I am in).

That's how I ended up here. There were/are HAers on the cancer forums and I followed a couple here to give them a piece of my mind and ended up staying to try and speak some reason as I'm a survivor and have heart issues. Funny how you can spot the HAers a mile off eh?

Glad to hear about the mindset... that's what we call the "warrior" mindset.

Positive thoughts

[lofwyr]

All right, back again. Dealing with this basal cell crap in the middle of my face, plus an newly noticed additional one at the bottom of my nose (biopsy this week, not really too worried about it to be honest, in for a penny in for a pound). Hopefully meeting with my MOHs surgeon soon. I am pleased to hear very good things about her, and that she is a very excellent surgeon, and that knowledge did give me a fair load of confidence going forward.

Now, that said, my main worry isn't a metastases or anything, they are so rare in bcc as to virtually be discounted, but how far the basal cell has spread locally. It is real, and it is there, but so is the anxiety.

The more I thought about this, the more I started to feel pain and discomfort in my sinuses, across my brow, the bridge of my nose, and in my nasal bone itself, and headaches began to develop. My conscious self knows well and true, this is anxiety. I am not even sure BCC eating the bone actually causes pain (and not looking that up either ). But the truth is, I felt none of this until I started thinking about it.

To add further credence to this, when I am staying busy during the day, and have locked away the anxiety, or at least tamped it down, no pain. No discomfort noticed except in the skin at the heart of the BCC which is drying and cracking, so that is to be expected. No worry, no surprise etc. But the second I lay down to sleep, or wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, the times my anxiety is normally at its worst, it is there. Even the pressure of the pillow against the side of my face hurts.

I am reminded of my first bout of HA when I was 18. I had recently lost a classmate to a very aggressive brain tumor. I had never had HA specifically, but had always been an anxious kid. I had heard he had headaches, and started getting them. Pretty soon it was a constant, grinding headache for three months until they decided to give me an MRI, which of course was clean. The headaches went away that night.

This leads me to an interesting question, as the title of this thread obviously suggests. How do you reconcile what is very probably psychosomatic symptoms with a real medical issue? Obviously to be safe, I will bring it all up to the surgeon when I meet her, but I will also bring up the anxiety and make sure she knows where I stand with that. But in the meantime, I would love to regain a bit of control over this, especially with the fairly firm knowledge they are psychosomatic.

[venusbluejeans]

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

Emmz

[coastgirl]

Hi there, fellow BCC survivor here, although I say survivor with a grain of salt as the anxiety of having it was probably more detrimental to my health than the actual BCC. I will admit I had a full on meltdown when I was diagnosed and I just simply had to use benzos (appropriately). After the surgery my anxiety was markedly better. I had mohs as well as the BCC was on my nose.

You are more likely to die of the flu than BCC. Or like you said, slipping on a bar of soap in the shower! But I keenly remember just wanting it OFF OF ME until I had the surgery.

The surgery was easy, although mine was smaller than yours. I had a plastic surgeon put my nose back together, a very cute young woman from Canada. She was great.

Honestly the only things that got me through were some meds, a therapist who was good at challenging my negative thoughts, good Netflix shows and taking my roommates dog on hikes.

I still have major skin anxiety and I’m currently looking for a new therapist as my insurance stopped covering the last one sadly :(

Please PM me if you have any questions or want to talk.

You will get through this! This will NOT kill you I can guarantee it.