Self-Harm

[*Broken_Mind*]

Ever since the age of 12 i have sliced my arms, pinched my self until i bruise and even banged my head against things very hard.

Its like an addiction, when i get really down i crave the sensation cutting myself gives me.

I would LOVE to stop and be able to wear short sleeve tops and not be ashamed of my scars!

Can anyone help?

Stacey

[groovygranny]

Hi Stacey,

I don't have any experience of this problem love, but here are a couple of links you may find helpful - ok?

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms....te=self%20harm

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms....te=self%20harm

big hugs to youxx

[Jimbo]

Hey Stacey,

The self harm pages that GG posted are very helpful, have a read through. They are also very useful to perhaps print off and help other people understand. Self harm is often misunderstood by a lot of people.

I used to self harm every day and I have been able to reduce and stop (fingers crossed). I started off when I was younger with bruising and other forms that slowly progressed to cutting and overdosing. It is very much like an addiction, but it can be overcome.

I think the important thing to understand about self harm is it's a way of coping with difficult and intense emotions. Sometimes it can feel like self harm is the only option to make you feel better.

Usually self harm is the result of a difficult childhood. Living in an 'invalidating' environment where expressing emotion was seen as wrong and discouraged.

A start is to tell to someone who can help about it. I kept my self harm secret for many years and suffered because of that. I eventually got the courage to first tell my mum, then my doctor. My mum was absolutely shocked and didn't react very well, but my doctor was very understanding. It is more common than you would realise.

I first saw the counsellor at the practise, which helped me to understand my past and why I was doing it. I then saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with Anxiety, Panic, Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder, which are all very common with self harmers. Usually there is some sort of underlying illness that produces these intense emotions.

I started a form of talking therapy called Dialectic Behavioural Therapy, which has helped the most. It basically involves finding other ways to deal with emotions and be more in control.

I think the most important thing is to get help, otherwise it can grow out of control into something life threatening.

Is there anyone you can confide in? Are you able to talk to your GP about it?

Jim

[*Broken_Mind*]

Im just about to check out those links now, thank you hunni!

Jimbo, its very very good you have been able to cut down. The truth is im too scared to tell anyone, im already labelled enough as a 'freak' due to my anxiety.

How do i build up the kind of courage you have?

Stacey

[Jimbo]

I think you have made a step in the right direction by thinking about it and wanting to stop.

I don't think I'm a courageous person, it was incredibly hard to seek help at first. I got a lot worse initially due to the pressure of analysing myself so deeply.

I think the will to to have a better quality of life is the only thing that drives me. I still have a long way to go, I still suffer from a lot of problems. I still feel the urge to harm, but through the skills I have learnt I am able to find other, more healthy ways to deal with it. Hopefully as time goes on that urge will reduce and eventually go away as I will automatically use the skills instead.

I think talking to your GP is the best way to start. If you find it hard to actually verbally tell someone, write it down and either read it out or give it to your doctor and explain that you find it very hard to talk about.

I can almost guarantee that your doc will have had other patients who are having the exact same problems and usually they are very understanding.

Seeing a counsellor might help as they are trained to help us talk about these difficult things. It gets easier as time goes on and doing some sort of therapy would help.

Jim

[*Broken_Mind*]

I think im going to talk to my GP, i seriously cant go on like this anymore...Its a vicious cycle - the more depressed i am the more i cut myself, the more i cut myself the more depressed i am.

You have really helped me Jimbo thanks so much! I think im going to write what i need to say down as i doubt i would be able to make sense when saying it to the GP

[Jimbo]

I'm so glad you are going to give it a go.

I still clearly remember the day and the waiting room and moment I told my doc. It was an incredibly difficult thing to do. Prepare as much as you can and it will be easier.

An important thing to remember is that it will be a long slow process to recover. If you have in mind that this has been going on for many years, it also might take many years to get completely better. Don't let that put you off. Getting it under control is going to make your life so much better, even if it does take a long time. You will have set backs, but over time things will get better.

My GP was excellent and really helped me out. Sometimes GP's can be a bit reluctant to refer people to counsellors / therapy / mental health teams, but if you ask firmly and make it clear that you really want help, there's no reason why you should have any problems.

Another thing to consider is the depression, treating that as well will help things a lot. Normally GP's will offer medication firstly as waiting lists for therapy can be long, but it is the best approach to combine anti-depressants with therapy. Have a think about whether you want to consider going onto meds as it will probably come up. They have helped me a lot, but they do have their problems and they are not for everyone.

I wish you the best of luck and let us know how things are getting on.

Jim

[jitterbug]

Hi stacy,
*big hugs* I so know where you are coming from! one question: do you feel ready to stop, truly ready? Take a moment to think about this. It sounds daft but if you aren't then it will just make you lose confidence every time you slip up.
If you are then, try finding other things to replace the self harm its hard to say what as everyone is different.. Do something YOU enjoy, Ice cubes and elastic bands can work for some people but don't be discouraged if it doesnt for you.
a good way to help scars fade is by using moisturising cream with vitain E in it. or use Bio Oil. try and keep the scars from getting dry and flaky.
pm me if you'd like to talk *cuddles* take care

[Jimbo]

I think the important thing is wanting to stop. I don't think you even need to be sure about it. Your goal should be to stop, but reducing it as much as possible is better than nothing.

Slip ups do happen from time to time. But it doesn't have to set you back to square one, it's a lapse, not a relapse. Just because you have a slight set back it doesn't mean you have failed. It takes a lot of effort and it's incredibly hard sometimes. But keep up the effort when you can and it does get easier.

As for scars and confidence, I still haven't cracked that yet. Just glad it's heading towards winter and long sleeves aren't so uncomfortable.

Jim

[belle]

I've been self harming since i was 15. I started off by doing stupid things like burning myself - and then i discovered other ways to cause pain.

Sadly i still do this, i am now 32 and a mother. I am SO ashamed. I hadn't done it for ages until Friday night. I harm when i am put down or criticised for being like i am. I do it because i deserve to feel pain because i am so stupid, pathetic, useless and ugly.

I cannot believe i am writing this.

x