Cancer fear after mum died.

[Julesbeachy]

Dad has been giving me an idea of some other symptoms she was experiencing which I won’t detail on here as don’t want to trigger anyone. But it seems that they didn’t think anything of them. They went to the dr 4 times though.

[BlueIris]

Jules, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Will be thinking of you.

[darkside4k]

I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. Wishing you peace.

[pulisa]

My Mum died of cancerous cells in the lung lining as a secondary from breast cancer. It was very quick for her too. The shock is just awful for the family. I do very much feel for you at this horrendous time. I think the only consolation-for what it's worth- is that she didn't suffer weeks and weeks of excruciating pain but I know that will mean nothing to you at this stage

[Julesbeachy]

Thank you all for your lovely messages. Pulisa mums primary was unknown because she was too weak for further investigation. I have wondered if it was breast too. Aggressive. But I honestly do take comfort that it was quick. She was so afraid of cancer had Health Anxiety for 50 years. But she only knew she had it for two days before she died. And she mercifully didn’t have a slow long process.

[pulisa]

Thank you all for your lovely messages. Pulisa mums primary was unknown because she was too weak for further investigation. I have wondered if it was breast too. Aggressive. But I honestly do take comfort that it was quick. She was so afraid of cancer had Health Anxiety for 50 years. But she only knew she had it for two days before she died. And she mercifully didn’t have a slow long process.

I think you have to hang on to this, Jules. But at the moment I'm sure you can't. You must look after your own mental health as much as you can now. There are no rules with bereavement.

[Scass]

I’m so sorry for your loss. It must be such an awful shock.
I know from my own experience of grief that it can be a physical thing too, and so I can understand why you’d get symptoms and pains.
Good idea to be in contact with counsellors, possibly your gp too. Xx

[Julesbeachy]

I do ache all over and today I have been able to be a bit more rational that they are “stress” aches. I have to not let my mind wander too much. I’ve seen and experienced what uncontrolled health anxiety can do. And I refuse to let it drag me down. I’ve just got to try and just ignore that “whisper” and focus just on my grief and work through that. Thank you all. So appreciated. X

[pulisa]

Keep posting on here if it helps? I'm sure you will be very busy with preparations for the funeral but we may be able to support you in some small way if you need to offload..xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum I hope you are getting all the support you can and this place will be there for you so don't be afraid to post for support, have a rant or some a chat about something to retain some normality at this very difficult time. As pulisa says there are no rules and many on here have experienced such traumas so understand what you are going through.

Like pulisa says there is something in knowing she didn;t have to suffer but at the same time you must feel so cheated to have so little time. This type of trauma is also a very hard one to reconcile with HA when we send our time saying trust doctors and don't look at rare outcomes.

If your anxiety is a mess right now it is to be expected. Don't kick yourself for that and don't kick yourself for thinking you should be thinking about your mum and others because this is the exact time mental health issues are bound to take a massive knock. You will deal with it and you are entitled to feel as you do. And I'm sure you are supporting your family as they are you but we have a tendency to kick ourselves much harder than others could.