Cancer fear after mum died.

[Julesbeachy]

You are all very kind. Thank you. I have a colonoscopy on Monday which Im absolutely dreading. I’m slightly anemic. And had bowel problems which have now cleared up (I’ve been waiting 3 months for the colonoscopy). but I have a slightly elevated calprotectin level. So I have this going on in my head. I don’t think the drs are concerned so I’m trying to remain calm. Mums funeral on Thursday. My head is all over the place. Thank you so much for letting me talk. Had a dreadful dream last night of death and illness. But it’s a lovely day here so I’m going to take my children to the beach. I never let them see my anxieties. But I do let them see me cry over nanny.

[pulisa]

It's such an awful time to have to have a colonoscopy and I hope you get some reassuring news on Monday which will help calm your HA fears.

It's completely normal and healthy to let your children see you cry. Why shouldn't you? You've lost your beloved Mum and are grieving for her. You had no real preparation for it and are in shock. I hope your children can bring you some comfort and that your day at the beach was peaceful. Take each hour as it comes and look after yourself-next week will be gruelling but you will get through it xx

[Julesbeachy]

I was ok about this colonoscopy have had moments of panic. But now the nerves are really setting in as to what they will
Find. I have low iron. That’s really my only symptom. And slightly elevated calprotectin. All my other symptoms have gone now and settled. Because they cancelled my initial procedure. It’s been months since I first went to dr.

I had a good cry all day yesterday with the kids and my husband. It was good for us all.

[FamilyPicnic]

Julesbeachy - I am so sorry to read what you have been going through. You are grieving and hurting for so many reasons and that is normal and okay - losing someone you love hurts. Your anxiety about the reasons behind her death are normal. Please remember that you are not your mother, just because it happened to her doesn't mean it will happen to you. I wish I had the right words to say or could make the pain go away for you but only time can do that. And you will feel better, probably not today or tomorrow but eventually you will smile once again. Be gentle with yourself, let people take care of you. I'm sending you hugs and hugs.

[Scass]

That’s a relief about the procedure. Also the good family cry. Huge hugs, you are coping brilliantly.

[pulisa]

Good luck for today. Last thing you need but just get yourself checked out. You'll only worry otherwise and a normal result will be very reassuring xx

[Julesbeachy]

Thank you all again for such kind words. My app is at 3.30. Been through the prep drink hell. Very nervous. But glad it’s nearly over and done with it’s been hanging over me for ages. And I’m also starving and can’t wait to eat tonight. I’ll update tonight. Fingers crossed. Xx

[BlueIris]

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

[Julesbeachy]

Hi all. Colonoscopy done. He said all looked fine. He’s taken several biopsies. Not because anything looked dodgy. But because I tested for slight inflammation on the calprotectin he took biopsies to check for any microscopic inflammation as he couldn’t see anything on the camera. He said all looks fine. Just making doubly sure. So I hope that is a good sign.

[pulisa]

That's very reassuring news and am so glad you've got that over and done with! Enjoy your meal tonight and take things as easy as you can. You'll need all your strength for later in the week xx