You are all very kind. Thank you. I have a colonoscopy on Monday which Im absolutely dreading. I’m slightly anemic. And had bowel problems which have now cleared up (I’ve been waiting 3 months for the colonoscopy). but I have a slightly elevated calprotectin level. So I have this going on in my head. I don’t think the drs are concerned so I’m trying to remain calm. Mums funeral on Thursday. My head is all over the place. Thank you so much for letting me talk. Had a dreadful dream last night of death and illness. But it’s a lovely day here so I’m going to take my children to the beach. I never let them see my anxieties. But I do let them see me cry over nanny.