I just feel like I'm losing my sanity. I believe I have OCD, and I have a very obsessive nature. For a year now I've been obsessed with morality, completely obsessed with it. Obsessed with my actions, obsessed with my thoughts. Its ruining my life now and I dont feel comfortable talking to a therapist about anything.

At the moment the things I deal with are, I am too scared to learn to drive incase I cause an accident and end up in jail, I walk a certain way in in shops so CCTV is clear that I am not stealing anything, I check my pockets/bag to makesure nothing fell in. I make sure I am safe browing constantly and visiting only a few sites (facebook/youtube etc) and definitely not adult sites as I am too frightened I could come into contact with an illegal link or pop up or something. I talk about these intrusive thoughts/fears with people on facebook intrusive thought support groups, and I have this horrible thought that my fb messages will be hacked and everything will be interpreted wrongly and I will be falsely accused of something just because I am talking about these absurd but distressing thoughts. I always have to check to makesure I've not written false untrue confessions anywhere (this one is ridiculous but I really do feel the need to be certain I havent). I cannot read the news, I cannot bare to read news stories on crimes or criminals and when I do I feel immense anxiety. I read them sometimes to check how I feel, and if I am disgusted by the crimes etc. I confess and reassurance seek constantly, if i tell a lie or gossip, i confess. I want to be honest and morally perfect and i know that's probably impossible.i also mentally review all memories I have to makesure I have not been immoral in the past.

My thoughts even convince me posting or speaking about these thoughts is a crime. I understand the ridiculousness and irrationality, and yet I cant stop this absurd/distressing thought pattern. Its been a year of suffering with this theme and I dont know how much more I can take.

This is really debilitating, I'm barely living my life. I always have to check if I am a moral person, I think I am one of the most law abiding people and never have I had the intentions to not be that, but these obsessions are ruining my life. I cant live like this.