Worst painc ever

[Scass]

Thinking of you x

[LouiseAndy]

Thank you for the replies, so I took a xanna (given to me by my gp to take after a bad episode) yesterday and I ended up sleeping for 13 hours- which must have been needed. I have appointments to set up to try and help me handle this time. Feeling abit better, breathing is still abit hard- but there's alot of feelings and panic there so to expected. Thank you again, for all the times you've read and replied.

[LouiseAndy]

I probs over slept yesterday as I'm still awake right now lol. Thank over little events I'm the last few hours, no big freaks out today so far. Jusg hoping to get a few hours sleep.

[Scass]

Oh I hope you can get some rest x

[LouiseAndy]

I tried to edit on phone and deleted my own reply lol -

Hi everyone,

Just a little update.

Sadly at this time things aren't great, both Inna mental and physical way. Since I last posted here I've been to see my GP and my therapist again.

They decided to give me another check up appointment in the coming weeks. Since they want to keep a eye on me.

In a way I'm disappointed in myself, that things have gone like this. I'm taking a xanna nearly every two nights or I can't sleep otherwise so I might go 48 hours with sleep- I'm suffering with nightmares and other sleep issues at the moment. So that's quite hard.

I've also been unwell phycial, worried also happening but trying not to dwell to much and all that.

I know this all seems silly and stuipd, it's just really hard at the moment.

[BlueIris]

Please don't be disappointed in yourself? None of this is your fault - don't blame yourself for being sick.

[LouiseAndy]

Please don't be disappointed in yourself? None of this is your fault - don't blame yourself for being sick.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply- I know I tend to rant on alot.

Today was the worst, I couldn't move all day because I felt so unwell. I had the worst headahce, that painkillers couldn't move, my limbs all just felt so heavy and I couldn't move without feeling like I was going to faint or get sick. I've been laying in bed in total fear for hours now. Everything just feels so awful, I don't know how to cope or anything. I'm trying my best, I know I've come far but right now it's scary and alot.

((Also TW: I caused myself same harm for the first time in nearly two years, it was very scary but it's like I'm not fully self aware as I do so. Thankfully, its not been as bad as in the past- but it was scary.))

I'm going to work tomorrow again....as I've used all my sick days. My manger is trying to be as understanding as possible- so it's a short shift but with everything I'm scared all the time.

[BlueIris]

Please be careful? From personal experience, self-harm is addictive - it took me absolute years to break the habit, and far longer to lose the urge at times of stress.

I know it's difficult, but maybe a few hours of work might help and act as a distraction?

[Scass]

I hope work helps today.
Be kind to yourself you’re going through a lot and you are getting some extra help which is admirable x

[ankietyjoe]

Self harm is extremely common with sexual trauma, and it's tied to LA's feeling of stupidity and self disappointment.

Just be assured that you're doing your best, nobody can expect any more from you and that just taking each day as it comes is the best approach right now.

Remember how important self compassion is.