Worst painc ever

[LouiseAndy]

Please be careful? From personal experience, self-harm is addictive - it took me absolute years to break the habit, and far longer to lose the urge at times of stress.

I know it's difficult, but maybe a few hours of work might help and act as a distraction?

I lucky was able to break the pattern before- I've been nearly two years with any harm. So, to be it felt like another step back. Which I know if my friend came to me with the issues I was having I wouldn't think that at all! The mind can be a funny thing. (Also, I'm sorry that from my reading of your post, you've dealt with self-harm before and I'm sorry you had it deal with it. It's horrible.) Yeah- work was nice actually! My co-worker who has a idea that I'm having a rough time brought me in homemade pizza he made himself! It was a lovely gesture.

[LouiseAndy]

I hope work helps today.
Be kind to yourself you’re going through a lot and you are getting some extra help which is admirable x

Thank you Scass! It's been hard but I'm trying to really listen to my therapist and gp to get back on the right track again....it's not easy but I've manged it before! I hope you're doing well also xxx

[LouiseAndy]

Self harm is extremely common with sexual trauma, and it's tied to LA's feeling of stupidity and self disappointment.

Just be assured that you're doing your best, nobody can expect any more from you and that just taking each day as it comes is the best approach right now.

Remember how important self compassion is.

Thank you so much Joe, once again. It's like I said before, if a friend talk to me about issues like mine they were experience- I wouldn't think any less of them but it's hard to think of myself in the same way. When times get really bad, I try to remind myself I got to a good place before and I can get there again- it's just a little hard.

[LouiseAndy]

I'm really feeling exhausted and phycial run down. As scary as moments of tension head pains, dizziness etc are. I'm sure it's just from being emotional run down. While it's all very unpleasant and it was hard getting any sleep with my headache- like I said my days are bad now but I'm working towards good ones again.

But I'm putting that on the back burner as today my Mam has to go to hospital to get a mass removed from her chest area- they don't think it's anything. So she's calm enough...as cool as the wind most of the time she is! I'm going to keep her company as it's a long day on her and she needs someone to take her home after it's done. My Mam has always been a support for me, even if she sometimes it quick to anger- I've learned over the years that sometimes when she doesn't understand things she gets upset but she's more upset that she can't understand but overall she's been amazing. I hope I can be good to her in return.

[pulisa]

You will be, LouiseA. It's awful when you watch ones you love going through the mill and you just want to make things better but can't. It's easy to get frustrated and that can come out as anger but it's not directed at you-more a sign of how helpless your mum feels.

All the very best for today-you are a kind and loving daughter and your mum is lucky to have you x

[LouiseAndy]

You will be, LouiseA. It's awful when you watch ones you love going through the mill and you just want to make things better but can't. It's easy to get frustrated and that can come out as anger but it's not directed at you-more a sign of how helpless your mum feels.

All the very best for today-you are a kind and loving daughter and your mum is lucky to have you x

Thank you Pulisa, the appointment didn't go great. Her gp had been saying it was a cyst all along and was kinda eh about removing it but the doctor today outright said it wasn't a cyst and when my Mam tried to ask him questions he just told her she wait six weeks for results and left the room. I know he doesn't know- but like he just handle it really badly and now my Mam is upset.

[BlueIris]

I'm sorry, Louise, that sounds frightening. Is there any chance you could call the hospital and maybe see if somebody could explain it to you and your Mam?

[LouiseAndy]

I'm sorry, Louise, that sounds frightening. Is there any chance you could call the hospital and maybe see if somebody could explain it to you and your Mam?

My mam isn't one to make a fuss, she said that she has to go to her gp on the 21st to get the stitches removed and she'll ask more after that. She says she okay now but I'm still annoyed by it all and wanted to do something about it but she said rather wait it out.

[KK77]

Thank you Pulisa, the appointment didn't go great. Her gp had been saying it was a cyst all along and was kinda eh about removing it but the doctor today outright said it wasn't a cyst and when my Mam tried to ask him questions he just told her she wait six weeks for results and left the room. I know he doesn't know- but like he just handle it really badly and now my Mam is upset.

That's a terrible attitude and bedside manner, Louise, and I also think you should ring the hospital and explain how anxious all this has made your mum feel. No one would want that sort of dismissive, disrespectful and rude treatment.

All the best re outcome.

[LouiseAndy]

KK- thank you for the reply. We did end up getting contact with the hospital. So my sister ended up ringing the hospital- in her family she's called the "tough" one. They wouldn't give her alot of details but they basically said they think it's to big to be a cyst, that there was a present of infection under it all. That's all she really could get out of them as they only put her in contact with the nurse who was quite nice and tried to get my sister as much info as possible. My sister is telling my Mam to put a complaint but my Mam says she doesn't want to cause trouble- but at least we've heard something now of it.