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Thread: Worst painc ever

  1. #21
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Got another a hour sleep is all �� so feeling really rough in work but I guess it's another night I survived lol x

  2. #22
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Sorry to hear about your experiences with trauma and abuse. That's definitely a real trigger for anxiety.

    I would recommend going over to a forum called Pandys.org. It's a website set up specifically to help people deal with the aftermath of sexual abuse, and your experiences with anxiety may well be different than most other people's here. The advice and resources available there will probably be a very useful addition to the advice you obtain here.

    I think you're doing amazingly well under the circumstances.

  3. #23
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Sorry to hear about your experiences with trauma and abuse. That's definitely a real trigger for anxiety.

    I would recommend going over to a forum called Pandys.org. It's a website set up specifically to help people deal with the aftermath of sexual abuse, and your experiences with anxiety may well be different than most other people's here. The advice and resources available there will probably be a very useful addition to the advice you obtain here.

    I think you're doing amazingly well under the circumstances.
    Thank you for the recommendation! I actually use the website, it's a really lovely support place. Like at times sometimes I wish I was strong enough to share my experience here- but I know it's a bridge maybe to far at the moment.

    I'm super lucky that I've had therapy with a sexual abuse specialist and my therapist I have no is helping me hugely with it. It's a long process and I went so long with out telling anyone or speaking about it. It's truly changed my mind set and trying to work my way out out it- funny how ha in a strange way became a coping thing. It was like if I worry about my health, I don't have to think about this? But that became it's own dangerous thinking.

    Thank you so much- I know I'm in a bad patch here and I post alot especially when I'm in a bad place but I'm trying to find better coping methods and deal with every feeling x

  4. #24
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Quote Originally Posted by LouiseAndy View Post
    Thank you for the recommendation! I actually use the website, it's a really lovely support place. Like at times sometimes I wish I was strong enough to share my experience here- but I know it's a bridge maybe to far at the moment.

    I'm super lucky that I've had therapy with a sexual abuse specialist and my therapist I have no is helping me hugely with it. It's a long process and I went so long with out telling anyone or speaking about it. It's truly changed my mind set and trying to work my way out out it- funny how ha in a strange way became a coping thing. It was like if I worry about my health, I don't have to think about this? But that became it's own dangerous thinking.

    Thank you so much- I know I'm in a bad patch here and I post alot especially when I'm in a bad place but I'm trying to find better coping methods and deal with every feeling x
    Ah it's great that you have a specialist helping you. Dealing with abuse and trauma is a far more complicated situation that plain old anxiety.

    I'm not sure if the HA is occurring as a cover up for other mental challenges, but quite often a person can be so mentally 'charged' that the anxiety has to come out in some way.

    You're absolutely correct that your trauma therapy is a long term process. My partner suffered multiple occasions of abuse when she was younger and is now in a five year course of therapy as she developed full blown DID after a traumatic birth of our second child in 2014, so I understand how hard it can be.

    But again, you're doing all the right things, so have faith in the process. Some days you will feel like absolute crap, but it will work in the end.

  5. #25
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Ah it's great that you have a specialist helping you. Dealing with abuse and trauma is a far more complicated situation that plain old anxiety.

    I'm not sure if the HA is occurring as a cover up for other mental challenges, but quite often a person can be so mentally 'charged' that the anxiety has to come out in some way.

    You're absolutely correct that your trauma therapy is a long term process. My partner suffered multiple occasions of abuse when she was younger and is now in a five year course of therapy as she developed full blown DID after a traumatic birth of our second child in 2014, so I understand how hard it can be.

    But again, you're doing all the right things, so have faith in the process. Some days you will feel like absolute crap, but it will work in the end.
    Like for me personally- this is my own personal experience and don't want anyone who might read this to think I'm saying it's for everyone. After I finally broke down to my gp (Who I'm so lucky to have, she's truly wonderful) she sent me to a abuse specialist and let's say she didn't "phrase things" the right way and it made it worse. It made me feel like it was my fault. So that was it's own thing for awhile- but I have a therapist I've been seeing for two years now and she's wonderful. Like I can't imagine where I'd be without her help. I'm very lucky I can and do have therapy/ therapist who understands me. I also was on meds for while but for a number of reasons had to come off them, I still take xanna if things get very bad but haven't in some time.

    I think also, not long after the abuse- I got actually ill. Nothing to bad- just a nasty stomach infection- lots of bad things but nothing what I feared. So it was alot and I couldn't handle it all.

    I try to remind myself that sometimes it is shit- but also in all these times I'm still doing thing's I couldn't get myself to do before. I manged to work not one- but two shifts today even though I wasn't the best physical- and like you said before. Even thought I do feel shitty alot (around the heart alot lately) but it's just feels. If it was something serious wrong, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this. As easy as it if for me to say now when I feel okay! But I try to remind myself, no matter how bad and shitty it feels now. I've actually come such a far way.

    Thank you, so much Joe. For engaging with me, I've read you speak about your parnter issues before and it's truly horrible isn't it.

  6. #26
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Even with the little sleep last night and the busy day today...I'm still wide awake. It's amazing how the body works sometimes! I'm not a big fan of trying to make myself sleep as that's when I tend to have lots of heart episodes. it's funny, read some of my own comments in this thread as well as my other threads. Its amazing how the same thing can crop up again and again! I've been worrying about my heart since 2018 (well probs before that, that's when I just got the account.)

    So, reading over other worries. I can see the same things pop up again and again. I thought I had posted somewhere about the thing that freaks me most (The strange lump on my jaw hinge area. It's like a lump that moves when I open and close my mouth. I can feel like added pressure or like there's something reting on the aw when I do. Also if you touch the area you can feel it move when my mouth moves.- it's hard to explain! I'm trying to tell myself it's just bone or something lol x) If only passed me had freaked about that and helped me get over it now. Im wondering if it's something I notice so much now because I noticed it once lol

  7. #27
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Only manged to get about a hour and half sleep last night before work. No matter what I try, my body refuses to switch off before 6 am (that was the time I had the panic last week) and it's like my mind is telling it self....if I make it past six. I'll live. Stupid, I know.

    So that made today hard, I also had lots of super fast beats and skipped beats, all the other things I've listed still bothering etc etc I think I'm whined enough here that my worries about my health are all layen out. - I'm currently flat out on the couch with a headache and from the way I'm typing lots of self pity also.

  8. #28
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Heart concerns are tricky to deal with because they're always there. Your heart is always beating. But if it helps I went through the same thing for a few years, I used to monitor and check it all the time. You can get past it though, just by practising NOT checking it. It'll do what it wants to do, and it's easy to get a skewed perception of what it should be doing. You'll have a number burned in your mind of what rate you think it should be, but in reality it doesn't work that way. Even now I can wake up some nights with my heart pounding at 140bpm, but I just get up, have a pee and go back to bed. It's the self sustaining worry about heart rates that causes the issue.

    I would try approaching your bed time differently. Tell yourself before you go to bed that if your heart starts pounding at night, you know it's just the anxiety. And if and when it does, just allow it to be and let it pass. You might need to do that every night for weeks, but it does work.

  9. #29
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Quote Originally Posted by ankietyjoe View Post
    Heart concerns are tricky to deal with because they're always there. Your heart is always beating. But if it helps I went through the same thing for a few years, I used to monitor and check it all the time. You can get past it though, just by practising NOT checking it. It'll do what it wants to do, and it's easy to get a skewed perception of what it should be doing. You'll have a number burned in your mind of what rate you think it should be, but in reality it doesn't work that way. Even now I can wake up some nights with my heart pounding at 140bpm, but I just get up, have a pee and go back to bed. It's the self sustaining worry about heart rates that causes the issue.

    I would try approaching your bed time differently. Tell yourself before you go to bed that if your heart starts pounding at night, you know it's just the anxiety. And if and when it does, just allow it to be and let it pass. You might need to do that every night for weeks, but it does work.
    Honestly Joe, thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. I know it can be frustrating to hear people go in circles with the same complaints. It means alot that you have taken the time to reply time and time again. It's nice to know there's more support out there. I will take you advice to heart and try to work it into my own routine. I'm going to see my therapist again on the 7th, I feel embarrassed in way to admit that I have taken a few steps back- but I guess there's always steps you can take forward once again.

    I'm also lucky I don't have anything to actually take my heart-rate all the time, I used to have a apple watch but it got waterlogged...and I took that as maybe I shouldn't have one! My Mam does have a blood pressure reader (she had high blood pressure) but I asked her before to put it somewhere I'll never find it.
    Last edited by LouiseAndy; 25-09-19 at 01:16.

  10. #30
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    Re: Worst painc ever

    Recovery is never linear and there will always be steps back.

    The best analogy I could come up with is looking at the waves on the beach. It doesn't matter if the tide is going in or out, waves will still come in and out and it's the same with anxiety. There will be good days and bad days and it is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

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