Worried about lymphoma/breast cancer

[Letti1986]

Thanks for your message Wubu I appreciate it.
I’m mostly ok now. Referred myself for another round of CBT where I’m going to push myself past the discomfort of changing my anxious ways this time (not just pretend I feel better so I can run away like I did last time!)
The only thing I’m really struggling with right now is the damn ITCHING!! It can be anywhere, eats, feet, scalp, back, legs, hands... you get the picture.
Had a bit of a breakdown last Thursday and my husband forced me to the doctors, where he proceeded to tell the doctor that my anxiety had come back full force. It’s true, and I can’t blame him for making me go... It was starting to affect my kids and him, and I know I have to make a change. I told my doctor my fear of lymphoma and how this itching is bothering me. He said itching is so far down on the list of symptoms that they (doctors) consider, it was through the floor and nearer Australia. He felt my neck and said he isn’t concerned. But still... I worry. I’ve read too many things in the past that stick with me. Like people itching up to 5 years before being diagnosed etc. My blood work is good, a previous doctor felt my tummy to check for an enlarged spleen and it was fine. I know I’m just a “lumpy” person who is always going to have nodes that are easily felt. And I know they’re not a problem unless they’re evidently swollen enough to see and you don’t have to go feeling for them. As a rational person, I wish I could let go of my incessant need to “what if...?” the hell out of every situation. I drive myself crazy.
Some days this itchiness isn’t bad, other days like today, it’s maddening! And I can’t tell if it’s because my subconscious thought of it first that made it happen or if I have the itch and then it puts it in my mind. I’m even getting feelings of wondering if I’m actually itching sometimes or if it’s a different feeling that’s like an itch but deeper. Almost like a deep burning that’s everywhere. It’s so hard to explain but it’s making me uneasy. Could it be anxiety?? I just wish I could forget about it so it might make me stop feeling it. And then I wonder if that’s impossible because I’m feeling it because there is something wrong. Sorry if this has made anyone feel uncomfortable in their skin! Just venting I suppose. Believe it or not, I’m feeling a lot better, in my thoughts anyway. I’m not so sad and scared this week. Sorry to go on! xx

[wubu]

My grandfather bless him had lymphoma and I can tell you that if you compared your symptoms to his you would breath a sigh of relief.


The only way to forget about it is if you accept what the docs say and while you still have doubt your anxiety will still make you think negative.

Have you considered more simple things like reactions to washing liquids, body washes, something you introduced into your house since getting the itch? For a while ditch anything that isn't strictly for sensitive skin and see how it goes. Even make a food log too.

[Letti1986]

Thank you so much for that Wubu, I appreciate the reassurance. I’m sorry your grandfather suffered lymphoma. Puts it in perspective when I’m just worried. I feel a lot better today, a lot more level headed. I’m pretty sure my itching is from anxiety and then it puts it in my head and it just keeps going from one to the other. Chicken and egg situation! I do have very sensitive skin anyway, very pale and freckly too, so we only use the most sensitive of cosmetics and household items (Aveeno, Fairy etc.) But I’m sure that’s probably why I experience the itching in the first place. Even clothes labels and interlocking on clothes bother me, I just have heightened sensitivity I guess.
I’ve decided I’m just bored of it now, I’m going to fill my head with other things and just get on. Hope you have a lovely weekend xx

[Letti1986]

Soo, I’m back. The reason being night sweats again! 2 nights ago I woke up at 1.45am absolutely soaked in sweat around my chest, back of neck, around my groin and backs of knees... I was boiling hot too though soon cooled way down to the point I was shivering and couldn’t warm up. I tried to remain rational: it could be all the moisturiser I put in the bath in an attempt to soften my skin to stop it being so damn itchy, it could be the cup of sleepy tea I had before bed, it could be because I sleep naked except for knickers (sorry, tmi) and it’s a result of my skin on my own skin, blah blah blah. So last night I purposely kept the stat down to 17•c, had a glass of water before bed, and put a vest top on. I’d been cold all day and went to bed quite chilly too. My husband was away for work last night too so I can’t blame him for being a heater! It took some time to fall asleep, I guess I was wondering how the night would go and I woke up a couple of times to check if I were sweating and can’t say I was. Until 5.20am when I woke up boiling again and like someone had chucked water over my chest and back of neck and the other places I mentioned. The vest top had a noticeable wet sweat patch on it too as did my pillowcase at the bottom where my neck would rest and it was a bit damp on the sheet at shoulder level. (I can see a few dried sweat marks on the sheet too, from the night before. I wasn’t purposely looking, but my sheet is white and I just kind of noticed it yesterday.) I’m still trying to remain rational and was thinking maybe hormones again? But I’m not due on for 8-13 days (depending on when it wants to come, has recently been every 28 days but sometimes can be 31 or even 26) and last month when I first experienced the night sweats that I mentioned in my earlier posts, it started only 4 days before I started my period and continued for a couple of days during it. So, there we are. I hate that these things are still carrying on, I hate worrying. I just want to go back to normal! I have a doctor appointment later today, not to do with this but as a follow up to my last appointment a few weeks ago when I addressed my anxiety. Can I please point out that the reason I don’t think the night sweats are related to anxiety are because I’ve been feeling really quite alright the past couple of weeks, I joined the gym at the weekend again, had my hair done, spent a lot of time walking the dogs with my lovely sister... I’m not walking around in a panic or constantly stressing. And I don’t have a sweat problem during the day either which I’ve read is common with anxiety caused night sweats. Just wanted to add that, though I’m open to people disagreeing. Thanks for reading, it’s good to vent here instead of sitting with it in my own head xx

[Letti1986]

Forgot to mention, 2 nights ago when I woke at 1.45am with the sweats, I also woke up about 5am the same night with the same problem. So it happened twice in the night. Sorry, just want to make sure I record all the facts.