I got up his morning, felt relatively okay, made breakfast, had a shower and then got changed. I then started to have negative thoughts about death and the thoughts just started to race around in my head. I tried to reason but started to sweat, felt really faint and my eyes went funny. This was then followed by a surge of panic adrenaline in the stomach and major depression like I could cry. I Looked at my Fitbit and my heart was at 116 bpm. I had a really powerful feeling that I was going to die and it was just horrible. I had a drink, sat down and the worst of it seemed to pass. I now feel really cold, shivery and like I’ve had a workout. I also can’t keep still!
I don’t know how much longer I can take all of this! I was supposed to have a doctors appointment on Thursday, which got cancelled, to ask for some medication.
I have been making very small improvements like going to grab a coffee etc but things like this really set me back.