Anxious about what???

[ankietyjoe]

I think that acceptance of the situation (and of one's own personality) can actually be a really good jumping-off point for working on the anxiety and adapting your lifestyle accordingly.

As much as I'd like the cash, I'd never thrive in a high-stakes management role at work and I'm okay with that.

I think this is an important point that you're looking at from the perspective of somebody on the other side. This does illustrate my point that stresses that a lot of people consider normal can actually be doing us damage over time.

It struck me several years ago that I was having to adapt my life to suit my condition, but only because my life wasn't conducive to physical or mental health in the first place.

Our fight or flight system is designed to work in short, sharp bursts. Modern life triggers it constantly, and it's brutal on our health.

[BlueIris]

Our fight or flight system is designed to work in short, sharp bursts. Modern life triggers it constantly, and it's brutal on our health.

Right with you on this one, Joe; I hate the rat race and I think it's a crying shame that we're forced to engage with it.

[ankietyjoe]

What concerns me is that schools are now little more than rat race training, in the UK at least.

My 11 year old son was doing mathematics homework when he was 8, that I wasn't doing until I was 11-12. He was being given 60-90 minutes homework every single day, and it was causing him (and other friends/parents) issues. Further down the line at his current school the pressure being put on 11 years olds with SAT's is absurd. I had a parent/teacher meeting with his teacher who was wagging a finger in his face like a neurotic maniac telling him he wasn't up to standard (although he passed all his SAT's above standard in the end). She was so stressed out that I had to physically intervene and ask her to stop doing it.

I had to intervene with the school too as once again I could see the signs of stress in him. The funny thing is I ended up speaking to the headmaster of the school who basically 'let loose' with me about how sick and tired he was with having to deal with burnt out children. They have three staff in the school dedicated to 'student nurture'. In other words counsellors for anxious kids. Not only that, they have a system in place where anxious children have a card that they can flash to the teacher at any time to get out of the class if they're having a panic attack. Again, the headmaster of the school in placing the blame squarely on the pressure children are being put under.

My partner is a teaching assistant at a local nursery school and they are being encouraged to introduce far more advanced reading and writing curriculums and testing procedures for 3-4 year olds, whilst dropping art and music activities at the same time. This is completely ridiculous.

This was not the case when I was at school, we got here in a single generation.

[BlueIris]

I'm sorry, Joe, that's a ridiculous state of affairs. Kids should have the time to be kids - they only get the one chance!

[pulisa]

I am older than you both and went to a primary school that was very strict and draconian. We all had to pass the 11+ or we were considered failures. We had constant exams and copious amounts of homework-parents were not allowed to help. No one was allowed to bring a packed lunch and every bit of food on our plates had to be eaten-including gristle in front of the ret of the class if we dared to leave it. Hasn't done me any harm...

[ankietyjoe]

Pulisa, what we did as the 11+ they are now doing at 8. What 8 year olds used to be taught, is now being taught to 5 year olds.

The teachers I spoke to at my son's school say this have changed massively over the last 10 years, for the worse.

There is no case of 'it was just as bad in my day' here, because it wasn't.

For the record, I'll be 50 soon and I expect my primary school education was much the same as yours. I remember the gristle and lumpy mash.

[pulisa]

It was a bit more than that, Joe but I'll leave it there.

[witsend]

Hi all

I don't have any answers to what causes anxiety or depression. In my case, I go from an everyday sense of being wired or gloomy, to episodes of feeling on the edge of a full breakdown, then back again. Just looking at some of the posts on this thread has made me think about my own experience. So here are some of my (utterly non-expert) thoughts:

Is it hereditary?
My mother is bipolar, plus has other issues, which meant me and my brother had a bouncy childhood. The thing is, because grew up with it, her highs and lows were normal to us.
However, in our early 20s, both of us developed emotional problems, unknown to each other. (We only admitted it to each other about 3 years ago).
Did we inherit a trait for poor mental health or did our childhood affect us more than we realised at the time? No idea.

Diet?
I've always been vegetarian, and was careful about my diet long before my mental health started to suffer. My brother eats anything!
I accept eating poor quality food affects people's health, and therefore emotions, but my bunny-rabbit diet doesn't help me in that regard.

Exercise?
About six years ago, I followed advice, and started working-out 5 days a week to help with my emotions.
If I'm feeling bad, it does often help a lot, but it doesn't stop the problems coming back.
I love going to the gym, but although am trim, I still feel grim much of the time.

So what does this mean?
No idea. If I didn't watch my diet or exercise, my problems could be a lot worse - I'm not willing to find out!
What I can say, in my experience, is that diet and exercise are certainly good things to do, but don't prevent mental health problems.

And please, if anyone thinks I'm trying to sound like a saint with my diet and exercise, I'm not.
I'm just doing what I can to stay on top of my stupid, wonky head.
Sometimes it works - often not - but I'm too afraid to give up either in case my problems get worse.

Yours

Witsend

[pulisa]

I do the same, Witsend. As Tesco say,"every little helps" and following advice and leading as "healthy" a life as possible is sensible but not the answer or solution for many people.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

I get this too- I do everything that is considered healthy and then think- why am I suffering?

But do anxiety and/or depression happen to a healthy body?

It’s a healthy heart that palpitates? It’s strong muscles that shake?

Unless you are talking about why the sensitisation happens because of a tired mind, and how can a mind become tired with a healthy lifestyle??