Is this really ‘just,’ anxiety??

[Mrsmitchell1984]

My mornings are awful. I awake around 4/5 just feeling so worried as if I am about to go for an interview. I am tossing and turning. My stomach feels awful. I’m sweaty, can’t sleep, my heart is hurting- as if I have just had a bad break up (which I haven’t). I feel like I just want to curl up and die.

I then manage to go for a shower and take my little boy to school- but I feel awful for the whole day- not as bad as the morning but I can’t focus on anything but how I feel- I don’t really feel part of the same world as anyone else. Constantly uncomfortable and hot and cold.

Then when I need to sleep in the evening - I struggle to get to sleep and the whole cycle starts again. My life is constant torture and I feel awful the whole time.

I have been in fluoxetine for nearly 2 weeks at the therapeutic dose (3 weeks altogether) but I just feel dreadful and I felt as bad before I was on it.

I am told I have to get used to how bad I am feeling as that is how I will reduce the adrenaline going around my body and so will feel better- but I feel awful and so sleep deprived- I can’t do it.

Should I just hospitalise myself??

[BlueIris]

It's actually pretty hard to get hospitalised for mental health conditions.

I'm sorry you're suffering - I've been there, and I still am, sometimes. However, the problem here isn't your physical sensations, it's how you're reacting to them. I know it's tough, but it's also NOT FAIR. You need to remember this, and harness it. Yes, you feel awful, and yes, it's making it hard for you to get on with things.

You have every right to be angry about this, so why not try it? A song I particularly love contains the line "anger is an energy", and I think that's a nice way of thinking about it. Take a breath and try to think of these feelings as less of a tragedy and more of a damned nuisance.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Thanks Blueiris,

Sorry to see that you have been here too. I just sometimes wonder if it is just anxiety and not something else??

But as hard as it is - I will try to see them as a nuisance rather than a tragedy.

Thank you,

Sally x

[ankietyjoe]

The answer is yes, this is what anxiety is like.

I would urge you not to start wondering if it's something else as that's a whole other rabbit warren of futile worrying you don't need.

What you are describing is anxiety, textbook.

I would also urge you not to use self talk like 'I can't do this', 'I can't take this'. Unfortunately it's here, and the reality is there is nothing you can do but sit it out. A hospital wouldn't admit you for this as it's medically trivial, as horrendous as it feels.

The good news is that these phases pass, sometimes days, sometimes weeks. You really just have to accept that it's here and get as much rest as you can. If you wake up feeling like crap, just pay as little attention to it as possible. It sounds counter-intuitive but it's the single most powerful action you can take, acceptance and irreverence.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

You say it passes but I have had it for 8 weeks.

Thank you for your reply about reassuring me that is it not something else and that I need to give it less attention and accept it.

Sally

[pulisa]

8 weeks might seem like an age to you but it really isn't, Sally.I appreciate that you are struggling to accept that this is "just" anxiety but this is part of the problem. There are so many strong and uncomfortable feelings which last all day, every day. Obviously you have just started fluoxetine again which won't help with the anxiety. I would again suggest that you ask your GP for a short course of diazepam if you feel you really can't cope?

[ankietyjoe]

Yes Pulisa is correct, 8 weeks is a relatively short time to experience anxiety, and it's also true to say that the cycle of negative talk and added imaginary concern at what else it might be just prolongs the feelings.

Antidepressants can (apparently) make symptoms worse before they make them better too.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

I have had it before on numerous occasions since I was 21- but this bout is lasting a long time- but I agree it’s because I am prolonging it by worrying and not accepting it.

Thank you both for your advice.

Best wishes,

Sally

[ankietyjoe]

It sounds counter intuitive, but it would be a good idea to go out for a walk after the school run. This is something I used to do a lot.

If you're over tired and already 'hyped up' on adrenaline, proper exercise can be very counter productive, but a 20-30 minute walk can do wonders. It helps keep your vitamin D levels up even though we're not getting much sun right now, it stimulates your lymphatic system and gets rid of the toxins your body can accumulate when you're stressed, and just breaks that cycle of self monitoring and irrelevant worry.

Get some headphones on and listen to your favourite music whilst you're doing it too!

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Thank you Ankiety Joe - that is a really nice suggestion