So Discouraged :(

[coastgirl]

So the past few months I've been struggling with a huge uptick in generalized anxiety and panic attacks. Usually the panic attacks are brought on by something tangible - I had a very bad one while eating and a restaurant and I thought I was having an allergic reaction because I suddenly felt very off and had a crawling feeling in my skin - kind of like the full body flush you get when you're about to have diarrhea. It WAS NOT an allergic reaction but a panic attack - whether the full body feeling was separate or the panic attack itself I'm not sure.

Anyway, anxiety has been infiltrating all areas of my life right now with new fears appearing right and left. What if I throw up on this date I'm on? What if I have a panic attack while driving? And these situations are all accompanied by near panic attack feelings - I am struggling to use my mental weapons against them. My rare use of Xanax has increased lately - I had to take one on the date I was on because I was suddenly exceedingly nauseous and I thought I would have to leave if I couldn't take anything. It's ridiculous.

I am an avid surfer, and it brings me so much joy. However lately I've been suffering from a fear of having a panic attack in the water and passing out or a number of other what if scenarios. Today I was entering the water on a beautiful day where the waves were slightly on the medium-large side (but nothing I can't handle - these conditions should have been totally fine for me, I'm very experienced). And I wimped out. I was so fearful of getting out there and then having a panic attack that I didn't even go in. And I just broke down in tears and I've just been so upset all day. A beautiful day wasted because of this anxiety that I can't seem to control.

My current therapist has NOT been helping at all with my anxiety...she just "agrees" with me that these situations could cause anxiety and has not been helping me battle the thoughts I'm having. So, I'm looking for a new therapist but it's hard to find a new one and takes time.

Anyway, just venting. I've just felt so upset about all of this and that I can't seem to break out of this pit of anxiety I've fallen into :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sorry to hear you are struggling, coastgirl

Anxiety can rob you of your confidence in yourself and you end up avoiding things you could do standing on your head or used to love. I was used to giving presentations, speaking in front of boardroom groups of all levels including external regulators who I would represent one part of the business for at times and then the breakdown started. It went from being confident in my work to not even being able to get out of the house to even sit in there was it was too scary.

It took some time to sort through getting myself back into work. Once I was there I found the first couple of weeks were the hardest and within 6 months I was back to doing most of what I did before.

So, with your surfing this is early days and perhaps just approaching it with some exposure will rebuild the confidence you must have had in your ability to do it? Perhaps you sit on the beach one day, maybe get in the water another, then go further out another, etc. It will mean the thoughts will come but you will start to tolerate them and soon be back out there.

Some people can just face it head on and get back out there but if not there are other ways too so don't lose hope. You've had a shock and you might need some time to process that but try not to let it build up avoidance if you can as you know it then becomes a battle to get back out there too. But if your anxiety does become that bad then don't see it as a sign you can't get back to that, even though it will be soul destroying at the time, because you can and you will have support on here when you need it.

[Nicnac1975xxx]

Hi. You sound just like me.
I drive for a living. Can't even get in the car. I have never been an anxious person til after surgery I had. All day I get the hot and cold flushes through my body which next makes u feel dizzy and sick. It's a viscous circle. U then worry about what might be etc. I have just gone onto sertraline which are actually making me worse at the mo. Let me know how u go x