Back in my dark hole with constant gut issues, please just hear me out

[Scaredtoo]

Let me quote your earlier post: One unkind word could be the last someone hears.
I apologise if you're not implying that some of the more forthright users here (arguably myself included) could be responsible for the suicide of somebody they've never met. That's actually a pretty vile thing to say in and of itself when the vast, vast majority of people here are dealing with their own mental health issues.

As for the zero response issue, I can't speak for everyone; sometimes I don't reply because I don't feel qualified to do so on a particular topic, or because others are better qualified to do so. Sometimes I don't reply because I'm tired and I need all my emotional energy for myself.

Anger isn't an unhealthy or unhelpful emotion any more than any other, and sometimes it can light the touchpaper that facilitates change. Apologies for the purple prose but I have a banging headache and I'm not the greatest self-editor right now.

Seriously. I never mentioned suicide. That’s a pretty vile thing to imply. No kidding we are all
Dealing with our own mental
Health issues. Myself included. I am sure your heart is in the right place blue iris, just as mine is. Have a good evening. Was just trying to shed some light on another perspective one might feel on this forum

[julieta79]

Hello. I am in the same boat. Its been over 3 weeks, more like 4, of super crazy sounds and running to the bathroom on and off. I feel sick. I have mild fever. I don't have infection as they tested stool/blood . I don't have blood in my stools.
My pain is in upper gut. I got endoscopy just the other day, with the mildest gastritis and that does not explain the motility issue.
In the last 8 months, I had a CT and MRI of abdomen (unrelated, due to benign liver cyst). I know these scans showed nothing in my bowels.
I am trying to rationalize this. I know my chance of colon cancer is not high. I also read of missed cases, sudden change in bowel habits, and I am so scared to eat anything because I dont know whether I will get the urge and sink into the worry hole.

I have been to few gastros, all of them with many years of experience. Last one said I probably have post infectious IBS and that will take months to improve.
I also had similar "episode" just last year and what if I could catch "it" but I keep waiting? But then do I want a colonoscopy when I already had CT, MRI and endoscopy?
I am sure if they rule out colon, then I will worry of carcinoid tumor (also causes diarrhea).
So...its devastating. At one end, yes, we have HA and we have worried like this for so many other cancers before. But our bodies also get disease and one day something will get wrong, and I just don't know how to accept life and just know what is real and what is not.