Hi Crazygal,
This is very normal. I feel as though anxiety creeps up right away during any pleasurable moment. For example: the other day we went apple picking as a family, it was so beautiful and serene and instead of feeling intense joy I just felt dread :( I was so worried about something bad happening to me or my children. My heart kept dropping at random moments. It was horrid because I wanted to savour the moment and enjoy it. Well, worrying is a way for us to comfort ourselves too so it’s a vicious cycle. Just recognize that and now try your best to ignore it.
Also, I don’t mean to pry but what made you leave Islam? Are you still spiritual? Religion gives me a lot of comfort, especially with my anxiety and I find prayer so helpful. This is why I was just curious to ask you. Hope you don’t mind