Last hurdle

[ankietyjoe]

I used to use alone times to really get into meditation. It's the perfect opportunity to get into the habit of practicing meditation.

It's the single most powerful tool I used for recovery.

[SarahNah]

Very sorry for not replying sooner Joe- I've had been rather unwell and haven't been looking at my phone alot. I'll defo try the meditation, I used to do it alot but I found it hard as my mind was always on.

I'm still really struggling with the whole feeling like I can't breath-but I thought about something you said about being truly breathless so any time I feel it come on. I try to sing to myself a little to show myself I can talk still lol.

I'm just feeling super out of it, like my body isn't my own. Like even typing right now my body feels discounted from it's self or when I'm eating I feel like everything goes numb.

I'm trying to remind myself no matter how bad I feel, I've come so far still.

[SarahNah]

Things have not been great today, only been in work three hours and I've vomited twice- I know it's from anixety and reflux. The acid is probably in return making my heart rate higher, which in return is making me more panic- which etc etc etc. I've had some some really bad dizzy spells also. I just feel really out of my body and I can't go home because we're already under staffed and like it's just alot.

[Scass]

Maybe you have a bug?
I’m sorry you feel so rubbish but at least you’re there which is great.

With regards to the breathlessness, I was once given great advice. Instead of taking a deep breath all the time try gulping first and then you should be able to take a more normal breath. It really helps me when I can sense panic.

Have you taken anything for the reflux? I find gaviscon is brilliant for mine.

[ankietyjoe]

I can't remember if I've said it before, but reflux can really make you feel breathless. You're not actually short of oxygen, it just feels like you are.

My experience with reflux is that because of the vagus nerve and the fact that your digestion is probably compromised too, it can make you feel like crap (mind/stomach connection).

I used apple cider vinegar to control my reflux combined with watching what I eat, and when I eat it.

[SarahNah]

Thank you both so much for the replies, please know I'm taking all you say on board. I know I'm alot on here at times. You both make very interesting points and give great advice.

Today I was suffering really badly with headache issues- especially behind my eyes. I feel super weak, my legs keep shacking and I stand alot in my work. I also just feel weak and just spaced out all the time. I went to a walk in clinic because I don't have a doctor here yet, they were really short and I could bearly say anything before he told me I had a sinus infection- he gave me tablets and nose spray. I've taken them all and I just feel really sick and sorry for myself now. I just feel so sick, my heart is still a issue. Just pounding and the shortness of breath- I've had this heart worries for months so I would be long gone by now if it was serious. I know anixety can have a big issues on the body, I'm just..... overwhelmed and really missing Ireland right now lol.

[Fishmanpa]

Chronicling your symptoms and waiting on responses is reassurance seeking behavior. You're obviously suffering from the results of anxiety symptoms, which is to be expected based on the life changing events as of late, documenting them publicly is just feeding the dragon.

Positive thoughts

[ankietyjoe]

Chronicling your symptoms and waiting on responses is reassurance seeking behavior. You're obviously suffering from the results of anxiety symptoms, which is to be expected based on the life changing events as of late, documenting them publicly is just feeding the dragon.

Positive thoughts

I know you mean well, but your one dimensional mantra doesn't fit all cases. Sarah has displayed effort to change and bravery in the move. She is experiencing symptoms of both an infection and of anxiety. There's a time and place for an observation about reassurance seeking, and this is not it. She is right at the start of a life changing event and is feeling like crap whilst being lonely. This is very much the time and place for a bit of reassurance. Reassurance isn't always a negative thing.

If we were still here in 3 months having exactly the same conversation, then sure. But not now.

Sarah, infections will also ramp up your heart rate. Mine usually shoots up about 15-20bpm if I'm ill. It'll pass!

[Fishmanpa]

I'm not taking away from the amazing accomplishments which have been made over the last year and I've said as much previously. I've been following the threads on this subject for some time and the effort is obvious. Just pointing out the pattern that's like an anchor holding fast and preventing more forward progress. That said, point taken.

Positive thoughts

[SarahNah]

I'm not taking away from the amazing accomplishments which have been made over the last year and I've said as much previously. I've been following the threads on this subject for some time and the effort is obvious. Just pointing out the pattern that's like an anchor holding fast and preventing more forward progress. That said, point taken.

Positive thoughts

I'm sorry Fishmanpa- You know I always take your words to heart (I mean that in a good way- sorry if I'm phrasing things badly I've been speaking German all day and sometimes I get a bit tongue twisted lol) I understand and respect what you're saying, I know it isn't ideal. I guess I'm very much alone here, yeah I have my boyfriend and that's kinda it? I don't have friends here (yet) and my support is at home. I worry that if I talk to much to them about how I'm feeling, they want me to give up and come back- seeing as I was a in inpatient due to my MH during the summer time during my last episode (I don't think I've really really spoken about here?) So I guess I moan about alot of things here because I need to say it somewhere I guess. I'm hoping the more comfortable I get here, the less I'll been to say something on here or be more upbeat.