I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression for years on and off and have learnt different coping strategies but the darkness has got his claws in to me this time and is not letting go . I feel lost and alone and incredibly depressed. I work full time I have four children and have a lot going on, we have had a few money worries lately and my husband has always dealt with money because I’m not particularly that good with money but for some strange reason my head has gone in to overdrive and I’m panicking about everything, every tiny little penny. My husband works away a lot and is the military so he doesn’t spend a lot of time at home. We have had a lot of car problems costing us a lot of money the car has been stressing me out a lot because I need it for work and taking my children to school, every time it goes to the garage I start to panic about the cost and what damage that will do to our family and that my husband is going to be cross with me because I took it in. When I talk to him he just shuts down and says to me that I need to deal with it, or he says we will just get rid of it (he has a work van) he never understands that it’s important for my work. My younger son has autism and I deal with his daily struggles. My daughter has a problem with her lungs and is having an operation in December she’s just three and I don’t want to do that on my own I want someone to come with me but I don’t know anyone that can. It was mine and my daughters birthday yesterday. We had a lovely day out for her. When I got home my husband yelled at me because I forgot something in the shop. He stayed in a bad mood all night and it’s just spilled over in to today. We ended up in another argument tonight and I went to bed in a state he just came down the stairs and screamed at me and told me I need to get a grip. I know I am pathetic and shouldnt be grumbling and I know I’m lucky I really do but I’m struggling. I’m having CBT at the moment and I feel horrible telling the person about all my problems I don’t want to burden him. I told him how low I was feeling and said he might need to let someone know I’m feeling this low and he gave me their special number just in case. I have had thoughts and I’m in a dark place but I’m trying to pull myself together it if not for me but for my babies.