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Thread: A break

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    756

    A break

    So, I've been struggling alot in the last few moments- it all came to a head tonight. I had a huge panic attack, I couldn't breath. Like I was actually on my knees gasping for air, I called my Mam and she didn't know to do so she called the helpline who told her I wasn't having a panic attack and to get me to hospital because I was probs having a heart attack. That the hospital had to do loads of tests, that she was shocked my doctor hadn't given me a 24 hour monitor for my symptoms

    Sitting in the waiting room of the a&e I thought I was going to die, like I was sure of it. After my Mam told me what the helpline said, I was sure of my death. I couldn't breath and all I could hear was my heart racing. So they did a ecg, took my blood pressure. Waited a few hours to see the doctor, he said he didn't think it was anything. That the ecg showed nothing, that my heart was kinda high but grand. So five hours later, I'm at home and at a loss.

    The help-line reminded me of a gp (who I had seen when my doctor was on hols) also sent me in to the hospital at once telling me I probably had a life or death infection in March 2018 after a test at her office and telling her all the issues I had. The hospital said there was nothing and I'm still here- so that might be here my doubt comes from sometimes. My Mam also said she wants to make a complaint about that helpline- but I guess anything about the heart they have to send you in. Maybe she was just over the top about it.

    The helpline had me dead, the hospital did like one test and that was enough. I'm all out of types, I know I did a post here earlier but I'm going to take a break from here. I need to focus on my mental well being 100%, that means off the internet fully as I tend to find things to get me worked up alot. Also when I thought I was dying in the waiting room, I was so upset because there was so much more I wanted to do. Wanted to see and I havne't done it. So I want to work on that.

    Thank you and Goodnight, I'm going to try and really kick myself up the bum about this. Use it as a push for myself. Not fall into the whole "Oh no what if the hospital was wrong and I'm dying!" gap.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    756

    Re: A break

    Will leave this by saying, last night was rough. I couldn't sleep because funny enough my heart was racing but I think it was so much built up panic. I need and want to do better. I'm starting it today with work.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    7,300

    Re: A break

    Good luck with it all, and the 'use it as a kick up the butt' is a great positive to take from that horrible night.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    10,623

    Re: A break

    I'm sorry you had to experience that LoiuseAndy
    I had a similar experience about 5 years ago, even said my goodbyes to everyone and an hour later the paramedics just sat there, told me it was a panic attack and suggested I get a pet.
    When you phone any emergency number, they have to cover their liabilities and assume the worst.
    Saying that, panic attacks are no laughing matter and can be very convincing.
    Maybe a break will do you good. You may need to go back to basics and you know you can always come back if you need to. x

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    4,185

    Re: A break

    Oh love, I’m so sorry for you. It must have been so scary for you both.
    From experience I know that the helpline will generally send you to a&e or urgent care. Every time I’ve rung for my daughter they’ve told me to go in. Once my OH was having a gallstones attack & they sent paramedics and made me give him an aspirin before they got there in case of a heart attack.

    So what I’m trying to say is that I get it.

    Go see your doctor and tell them what the helpline said - get his response and write it down so that you remember and can refer. It’s great that your results at the hospital were good. Even at your scaredest you were still ok.
    So yes, use it as a new checkpoint and move on with it.

    It’s not easy, get as much help and support as you can. We are here too xx

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Posts
    636

    Re: A break



    Thinking of you as always, my brave friend xxxx

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    756

    Re: A break

    Hi Everyone, thank you for the replies. They mean the world to me, that you all took the time to reply to me. It was very emotional yes, I lucky have therapy anyway tommorow- but I think I'll need it. To be honest I guess after being told my heart was fine with the ecg. I guess I thought that's it rather foolishly.

    I had a mostly good day today, yet the moment I tried to sleep. My heart kicked up a gear, I broke out into a hot flush and started shaking. I was gasping for air every few moments-- I have come to stay in my parents house after this. I went downstairs to my Mam as I couldn't deal with it, it's been weeks since I had more then hour night sleep. She's put me on one of the Coach in the hopes me being close to her will help. Which I really hope will help, it's horrible being at my age and needing to depend on my Mam like that.

    I will take more time to reply to every single of you on a personal note, I'm sorry for whinny so much. I'm just...alot of feelings right now. I never thought life would be like this at 23, feeling like I was dying on my parentd coach. Sorry for any spelling mistakes- my Mam had her own issues at the moment. My boyfriend called me a selfish cow yesterday for going to the a&e after my attack....so that's a guilt of that happening and I don't want people to feel put out by me anymore. So I rant here alot. My deepest sorry to anyone who's been annoyed by me.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    16,747

    Re: A break

    Louise, it doesn't matter how "old" you are..your Mam will just want to do all she can to help you manage your anxiety which is overwhelming you at the moment..You can't help it but you can put your mind to working on your mental health which is what you are doing.

    i would advise sticking to this thread and avoiding other areas of NMP which may be triggering and unhelpful xx

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Posts
    7,747

    Re: A break

    Louise, has it occurred to you that maybe you need a better boyfriend?

    None of this is your fault; of course you want your mum at a time like this. I think it's a tribute to both of you that you're able to depend on one another like this.
    __________________
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    Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    756

    Re: A break

    Hi Pulisa and BlueIris, thank you both so much for replying when I'm being a right mess. I've very lucky to have the Mam I have. She's been a real support to me. I just hope I can be as much as support back to her-- and yeah I'm thinking this boyfriend might have to go lol.

    I manged to get a gp appointment this morningzwhen things feel so horrible it's hard to believe it's all my stuff but she says I know it is deep down. She's starting me on lexapro- which I really hope helps as no table I ever tried before either helped /didn't make me feel worse. I need something to help me move forward.

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